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Just realized all books are different combinations of the same 26 letters. This is bullshit!
When your limbs fall asleep that's death seeing how far he can get without you noticing.
"You give me one leather jacket, I invest it, then give you back TWO leather jackets!" - Fonzi Scheme
Jay Z laughs like a baby feeling velvet for the first time.
Some day he'll find his Girl Fieri.
I set women's rights back 50 years every time I see a spider.
I once put chocolate chips into a Hot Pocket so I can tell you a thing or two about dying alone.
"Well you'll always be MY prince." - So many ladies everywhere to their cats tomorrow probably.
No, please, old men. Tell me more about my uterus.
If you have no regrets you're either a liar or an asshole.
Hive fives are like tiny celebrations of having hands.
"There are no stupid questions." - someone who's never watched a movie with my mom
"All dressed up and nowhere to go." - penguins
Everyone wants to have sex, sluts are just successful. That's why we hate them. Stupid sluts.
Just once I want to see "Soooo many animals harmed in the making of this movie. Like, SO many. An insane amount. Too many, probably."
Internet, you've made a compelling argument. Sleep: present your case.
I'm Morrissey depressed not Van Gogh depressed.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result but I still get up every morning.
Pets are like a snooze button for your ovaries.