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The human race won't ever truly be able to progress as a species until we develop a USB cable that can plug in facing either way.
OH a girl say she no longer wore juggalo make-up because ICP were totally mainstream now. Are juggalo hipsters a thing?
All the skin is falling off my arms. It's either from the sunburn two weeks ago or I'm finally getting my adult skin coming through.
I'm all for 'Bros before hoes' but I'm struggling to think of a situation where I'd have to choose b/w an 80s band and a gardening tool.
Can't believe its 2013 and I can't marry my phone yet.
Coco Pops for dinner, BECAUSE I'M A GODDAMN ADULT.
Peel an orange and let your murderous anxiety melt away. #FruitTweets
I can't wait for the next episode of "When Pop Musicians From Ten Years Ago Get Married".
"Hey, Big Brother is on and it sucks ass!" - Everyone on Twitter Right Now
I miss the days when spambots on Twitter would send me links to porn instead how to get a free iPad 2. #Nostalgia
If you block an escalator with incessant standing, may a thousand Danny Trejo hunt you down.
Thanks to the magic of dreams I now have a pretty good idea of what it would feel like for all my teeth to fall out at the same time.