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Friends: 463
Followers: 408
Favs Given: 3,300
Favs Rec'd: 2,574
@sherriva's (Sherri Hutchinson) most faved Tweets...
sherriva
Whenever I lose a follower, I imagine the follower tragically choked to death while laughing at one of my tweets and then I feel much better
@sherriva
sherriva
One bloody foot and you call the police? You garbage men have no sense of humor.
@sherriva
sherriva
They are taxing beer, cigarettes and now my fat? If they start taxing black tar heroin, I'm moving.
@sherriva
sherriva
Fat and lazy may not be a good way to go through life, but it's a great way to go through Wal Mart.
@sherriva
sherriva
Someone broke into my house, stole all my pants and replaced them with the exact same pants 2 sizes smaller.
@sherriva
sherriva
Pot + cat + laser pointer = good times
@sherriva
sherriva
Using your tweets as my FB status isn't what I had hoped. No mom, I really don't have a body in my freezer. Yes, I know how unsanitary it is
@sherriva
sherriva
Ok, I've got a goat and my pants are off.
Wait, wrong chat room.
@sherriva
sherriva
I could really use one of those "held hostage and fed only small rations of food" kind of diet.
@sherriva
sherriva
Apparently there are singles in your area just waiting for you to call. They seem like nice girls.
@sherriva
sherriva
Today, I will only use my talons for good.
@sherriva
sherriva
Remember the good 'ol days when teabagging was about balls?
@sherriva
sherriva
This migraine brought to you by moronic impatient clients that keep asking the same stupid fucking questions.
@sherriva
sherriva
Driving through West Virginia and I see the cutest little crystal meth looking towns. So quaint.
@sherriva
sherriva
I'm sure with the Twitter problems today, you all did not get a chance to star my tweets so go ahead and do that now. I'll wait...
@sherriva
sherriva
I fixed up the guest bedroom so you don't have to sleep on the couch. Happy anniversary honey.
@sherriva
sherriva
I am sick of the claim that Americans are fat and lazy. I'm getting a protest group together just as soon as I find some pants that fit.
@sherriva
sherriva
Husband is extra nice tonight. Not sure if wants to get laid or he just poisoned me. As long as I get to lie down, I'm good with either.
@sherriva
sherriva
In my experience, the best way to deal with angry clients is uncontrollable sobbing.
@sherriva
sherriva
Big ass is to soccer mom as wife beater is to Wal Mart.
@sherriva
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