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Slamming your bedroom door and blasting the Dawson's Creek soundtrack is a lot less meaningful when you don't live with your parents.
"My ex-girlfriend is crazy" -every guy in the world.
I'd be happy if I never had to greet anyone again the rest of my life.
My dog cannot believe how many treats I give myself over the course of an evening.
I'll stop eating my feelings when they stop tasting like pizza.
Because of text messaging, "K" has become the meanest most passive aggressive letter of the alphabet.
Every time I have to make a big decision, I think about Lauren Conrad and the trip to Paris. #thehills
I really miss the emotional catharsis I once got by posting a meaningful song lyric as my AIM away message.
Will any human encounter ever be as captivating as examining a Biore nose strip after you pull it off?
If there's such a thing as death by glitter, I definitely want to sign up.
When will I be invited to a murder mystery party weekend where things are not what they seem and the game becomes all too real?
The saddest thing is asking someone "Did you hear my joke?" and having them answer "Yes."
We should at least have the option to spontaneously combust when we run into people we don't want to see.
The craziest part of growing up is remembering that it once seemed normal to me that the girl in "Father of the Bride" was engaged at 22.
I'll only be truly happy the day I no longer know the difference between my own memories and things that happened on "Gilmore Girls".
There's something alarming about two blonde people ending up together.
If I don't receive a heart-shaped pizza before I die, I'll die.
I was supposed to be a child star (instead I collect stickers and write for @GirlsHBO)
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