When I worked at the hospital, we used to gamble on gunshot victims

Honestly, I've never had a house plant survive longer than a few weeks, so you humans might be fucked.

The butthole is the most easy to charge examination.

People are just filthy, really.

You would be surprised how many women I've treated for blowjob-induced mono.

When you're sitting in the exam room waiting for me, after having waited a half hour in reception, I cackle gleefully.

I have fat people meet me in the room farthest in the back.