• Howdy!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Gift @shkeeber Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 371
    • FAVS
    Cpin42dickchonaryPhildo41mydmackutsukutsuuGeauxSaints79madrigroberStr8GuyGayQuote
    • 214
    • RETWEETS
    dickchonaryPhildo41GeauxSaints79nannerbanannersitouchtacosKJay2425madrigroberKizerBillhelm
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    The zoo basically had two modes:

    1. Boring sleeping animals.

    2. Hardcore porn.

    • 339
    • FAVS
    Cpin42paperphotoyoMs_LaserWhoTheHeckIsMegmatthews_peaceURsassyPantz__BongumenzithabaBoleyngirly
    • 200
    • RETWEETS
    twofittysmitty__SimonMalingaSALiyabona_VutulaSIZWE_MAGUBANE1gordoncasey2000TwosketabithacapeShareefFakier
    iMikosnyc
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
    Me: You love me?
    Cop:
    Me:
    Cop:
    Me: Is it because I'm driving a lawnmower?
    Cop: Yes.
    Me: *floors it*

    • 306
    • FAVS
    Cpin42madrigrober3a_lolamr_michaelwoodsUSAF272chelliet22PapanovaTaisiyaSilverBadger
    • 157
    • RETWEETS
    madrigroberChihiroKohayakaRobNurmiEvil_EncounterSilverBadgerastutenewfMidnightReisRuledamonkeys
    Spaziotwat
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    My blood test came back "cheese".

    • 265
    • FAVS
    Cpin42madrigroberryannniederik_saarivwallacTweeterMediocreLaurelleMartinDillonGeroux
    • 131
    • RETWEETS
    madrigroberderik_saariLaurelleMartinSharpeBytesJohnnyNopolisKSTXNFavstar250Sloppilee
    iMikosnyc
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    [How to flirt]

    Step 1: Stare
    Step 2: Stare
    Step 3: Stare
    Step 4: Stare
    Step 5: Stare
    Step 6: Stare
    Step 7: Stare
    Step 8: Stare

    I'm single

    • 245
    • FAVS
    TweetingDadGuysunset_proKittenWrittenKizisbombjumpdasharkobi_ian_kenobiToxicProbablyhazarii
    • 126
    • RETWEETS
    zerojayzobi_ian_kenobiTristan_KiddthebelleofbamaNStafford32NolaChef504blanketslugAl_Rankin
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Runner's high is a myth, just like gluten allergies and happiness.

    • 199
    • FAVS
    EssexLadBlogClockTowerGirlhook8669Henry_3kxrandomxgirlxDrinkingatWorkDr_Dy3ssGeekGirlCurls
    • 141
    • RETWEETS
    ClockTowerGirlhook8669Boogiequn4everheatherlessleyDrinkingatWorkAPANCHALYPSENOWTheGrimKingmadrigrober
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    *wraps cat in plastic wrap*

    *pokes out nose holes*

    No Ebola for you, kitty.

    • 200
    • FAVS
    madrigroberSharpeBytesLorieGZSpaziotwatthenoahkinseyCompocolypseElKnuckelhombreTheGrimKing
    • 112
    • RETWEETS
    madrigroberTheGrimKingJohnnyNopolisZoePermafrostAdeenaaaashelbs_______DurtMcHurttdivadilemmaz
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    *Changes mom's ringtone to Me So Horny*
    *calls her at church*

    • 191
    • FAVS
    CnichalsporeguyaewangstjcirimelemadrigroberSharpeBytesLorieGZDanKCharnley
    • 92
    • RETWEETS
    esteban_xLRGroovyDeadOnetjcirimeleSpaziotwatmadrigroberronjon307swollenvoiceshelbsss52
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    My anaconda don't want buns because he's off carbs, son.

    • 181
    • FAVS
    LorieGZzarascottioSpaziotwatLilTooFarrandomlady74MontavloJoebitter_germanimmaculateR01
    • 88
    • RETWEETS
    clarKKKentGreeneyedMofoBandersnaaatchTheGrimKingMrDelFreakyjakeCBR600f__ari_goldsteinBoleyngirly
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    "Are you a cop?"
    No
    "Because you have to tell me if you are."
    I'm NOT a cop.
    "You sure?"
    YES!
    "Ok... I'll have one Happy Meal please."

    • 159
    • FAVS
    LorieGZsettroitCnichalDanKCharnleySpaziotwatJohnnyNopolisTheMichaelRockShoutingGoddess
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    SpaziotwatlatigonabrookeLewisVuittonDonLIVINGDEAD4LIFEGreekSixMafiaMgQ85glisac__memphiselitepom
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Me: Is this about the long lunches I took...

    HR: It's about the wig and the 4 hours of Beyonce choreography in front of an oscillating fan.

    • 154
    • FAVS
    catmarstruredpawn3MizBlueBallsthejessbessCatherineLMKRandomchkkLorieGZtheevilwriter
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    MizBlueBallsWhymessRandomchkkWalkThisJaiLaContentaVidatoxic_tyler_AquaticOrchidPruittWinston
    iMikosnyc
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Who decided to call them stepfathers instead of faux pas?

    • 153
    • FAVS
    CompocolypsesnapperjonBlondAmbitionTOCpin42wife_housyWarramoosetewystrawbiies
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    lovestained555ShawntinaRoseGabrielGeorge4BlacknificenceCommonThought_MsGettyOpenYuhMindsassypants977
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Me: Did it hurt?

    Satan: Did what hurt?

    Me: When you fell from heaven.

    Satan: *rolls eyes*

    • 130
    • FAVS
    madrigroberLorieGZDanKCharnleynicoleaarnoudseJustJosephuscrookedvulture1thenoahkinseyBryan_Swagger85
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    madrigroberJustJosephusBlondiee_SwaythenoahkinseyLinger_ManiaTheGrimKingemilionnaire423ryanrp05
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    There's one stick figure on the back window of my car, crying in the shower.

    • 141
    • FAVS
    AroraLilyFredzipfelSchmill45haelBoleyngirlysalutona040204Lawsonpapasuncle
    • 70
    • RETWEETS
    AroraLilyinveterateslutBoleyngirlysalutona040204Lawsonamie_aielloNone4MeThanxalmightytodd
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    All I really want out of life is to see someone get struck by lightning while using a selfie stick.

    • 127
    • FAVS
    madrigroberLorieGZDanKCharnleyJohnnyNopolisCelebrityChezDelirious_InkTeeJayRushBlarebare
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    madrigroberfreedomnow88AnywayAnywayAnyFourMeeTeeJayRushshellac_attackkeyziarkNYChaseter
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    A burrito is diarrhea in its larval stage.

    • 134
    • FAVS
    madrigroberstormzadorkCnichaljordan_strattonsadsince1964__notaloginDanKCharnley1_swarthy_dude
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    madrigroberSpaziotwatThoseVoicesthenoahkinseyTheGrimKingJohnnyNopoliswilliamwalsh191sipkn
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Neat! The Google Earth image of Detroit has a chalk outline drawn around it.

    • 137
    • FAVS
    madrigroberLorieGZTheGrimKingJohnnyNopolisJKALittleSirrruhkatie_1002Marc_The_Marvel
    • 68
    • RETWEETS
    madrigroberMarc_The_MarvelMrC2daGBlack__ElvisZenDamsel__dawny716__wallybertbenerdist
    Kevinctyler2iMikosnyc
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I hate when something seems like a good idea while you're drunk, but then in the morning you have a houseful of cats with glittery mohawks.

    • 112
    • FAVS
    madrigroberDanKCharnleyWorkPTCTheMichaelRockxXlilfoxXxHeCalls_me_LbethanyspakeCompocolypse
    • 60
    • RETWEETS
    madrigroberLisaMarie1124yabbadabba95bethanyspakeGreeneyedMofoTheGrimKingcee_ceeLexi_Gj
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I never drink alone. That would be pathetic.

    *pets kitty*

    • 124
    • FAVS
    KukiEsmePYDIGNADanKCharnleyTheMichaelRockTheGrimKingdaianasaucedo6NEthingButWorkNOLAtweetup2015
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    ItsTime2BelievePOLARFAISEwheredidyougo_SandraP_VlcChiniMartinez2marianicasio99MNREDMexico_cloudyworld
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Before $300 smartwatches and fitness trackers, we used something cheaper called "sweating" to let us know if we were getting a good workout.

    • 98
    • FAVS
    madrigroberDanKCharnleyJohnnyNopolisLastPlaceRobjumpdasharkIamfarrow__CockydudeprobstheBorney
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    madrigrobernotsleeepingtiReynardEVO3talonMasid7TeeJayRushAnsab454OrWasIt
@shkeeber

@shkeeber

I like romantic dinners, walks on the beach, and acid wash mom jeans.

Gift_128x128

Like @shkeeber’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.

Gift them Pro!