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  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    //HTTP ERROR 404: SHKEEBER NOT FOUND

    Please try again later.

    • 25
    • FAVS
    JediGigidavetrek42fartboxwithgodMrNickJCUnlucky_NinjaAdar79AngieCatherineinAL420blankman
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Vanilla_cupcakHungoverLawyeryoungestneilAvatar_unknown_48
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Mom says I have to wear this paper bag over my head because I'm TOO handsome.

    • 87
    • FAVS
    Huber138Punmastahmlccmohfuckno74ec0xxPhinallyHerethistletat13TheAlexP
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    martinzavala969shadesoftaarimallwritecommlccmthistletat13TheAlexPmadamcheezykababchee
    Midgetspar
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    These workout DVDs aren't helping me lose any weight and they taste terrible.

    • 74
    • FAVS
    davetrek42BumfuzzledSoulruraljulesFrankieTheAngeleliassen_melbasimbambaataaRyanFuckinBoyleiwearaonesie
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    DASMIT1eliassen_melMrNickJCkbkillaaaaRiotGRRLBarbieperrypottersGuyThe_Guychicnlil1
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    My high school guidance counselor told me I couldn't be a knight, but this roll of aluminum foil and duct tape beg to differ.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    davetrek42crystal_irvingMrNickJCUnlucky_NinjaStr8GuyGayQuoteKimKardashsToeCluaran_Fraochbackporchlady
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    Unlucky_NinjaCluaran_FraochGoldenNumber5GuyThe_Guyemarie2705vinylrabbitsqlstudent144astutenewf
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I thought we were supposed to get spring fever, not spring frostbite.

    • 26
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCUnlucky_NinjaGuyThe_Guychicnlil1jake_likes_napsBlairLoudlyLookAwayMomDadLolaFaglana
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    noneofyours99MrRottenFacebrwnsugabaybeeVillainTrinaastutenewfbrown_bumperclindsayswayAvatar_unknown_48
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I poured chicken soup into my eyes because they're the windows to the soul. Now I have no soup and I'm blind.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCUnlucky_NinjaStr8GuyGayQuoteDustyPeeRonin6750Deurb1mschff3GinRumMe
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    Unlucky_NinjaTheHausOfKuntemschff3GoldenNumber5GezClaytonGuyThe_Guymcwoodyjohngaysee
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I just want someone who gets me.

    -Packages

    • 44
    • FAVS
    fluffysusedavetrek42MrNickJCGhetto_TrophyToxicProbablyBaz_3000Str8GuyGayQuotekavoinooi
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    Deurb1mschff3GuyThe_GuyInsanely_crazy_Yo_WomaniyaMaybe_TumorrowAmiigatevofck
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Is it gas or something more sinister? Could YOUR butthole be haunted?

    The truth may shock you.

    Details at eleven.

    • 53
    • FAVS
    ShireenAdriandavetrek42MrNickJCStr8GuyGayQuoteChrisKirouacCluaran_Fraochbackporchladyjannable9
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    Cluaran_FraochAnonymous1040HuajatollaChicimabeatyoasshoeGoldenNumber5GuyThe_GuyAmiigatclindsaysway
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I express most of my emotions through karate chops.

    • 126
    • FAVS
    jon_aleyhello_saylormarvelousCaraspecialpatrlgrpMrNickJCCtotheASShazelmotes1rancorcuddles
    • 71
    • RETWEETS
    sammmiwhitt69shadesoftaarMatty_Yeshhhcatcervenymadre702missesazMooseHerBeavermystic_slippers
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    You there, gentleman with the bangs.

    Fucking stop it.

    • 59
    • FAVS
    SharpeBytesCubicleHostagethedailymarkerdi_anonymouslysmirkykevMrNickJCUnlucky_NinjaStr8GuyGayQuote
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    SharpeBytesthedailymarkerdi_anonymouslyBattleAxe66smirkykevUnlucky_NinjachickenandblueMooseHerBeaver
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Dating must've been so easy for cavemen. This my cave. This my fire. You like rock? I have many.

    • 73
    • FAVS
    miss_saucytartBumfuzzledSoulTheBatfinkjcgreenniggamus_primeCaroliCilipmorgan886Buck852
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    BumfuzzledSoulanna_nicolletteBmadjanovichDanteAmerigoSusanMizerameonieeMrNickJCUnlucky_Ninja
    clindsaysway
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Pro tip: Avoid embarrassing tan lines by becoming a hopeless shut-in.

    • 58
    • FAVS
    MrNickJClecterismsUnlucky_NinjaStr8GuyGayQuoteBarW38backporchladyjannable9GinRumMe
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    lecterismsUnlucky_Ninjamike_addison17AbbstractedMindjapp88MorganLehyGuyThe_GuyUnFitz
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    *stumbles into room* You should see the other guy, he looks great. I've gotta stop picking fights with supermodel ninjas.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCGuyThe_GuyAdar79AngieGrabTheWEnessEliHansenMusicParentpainscirclejokesGeorgeScumbag
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    TommysaurDan_YoeSmellsBlairLoudlyHeyRikusMirth_QuakeHungoverLawyerAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I don't know a lot about how lady parts work. Do the tampons repel bears...?

    • 29
    • FAVS
    gregorydukeMrNickJCParentpainsGeorgeScumbagBlairLoudlyslackerjorgeHeyZeus666Cpin42
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    ThrobertPaulsen
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    One of you is gonna have to give my mother a grandchild or she's gonna stop paying my cellphone bill.

    • 103
    • FAVS
    DulciePlaidNicole39077483LuvPugsarcasm_incSurlyJonMrNickJCUnlucky_Ninjalacrossemom5
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    SurlyJonsteedsaysnicejumbleDogLovesWineBaz_3000osno13SoulYodelernsturden
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    The only thing I learned in gym class that I can still do is dangle from a rope one foot of the ground.

    • 36
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCAdar79AngieParentpainsBlairLoudlyhuntigulaMirth_QuakeTinkerbell__theigirl
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    PwilliepW_theigirlrickkondellastutenewfZora_d_1991noneofyours99_MrsGigglePits_vivalamoi448
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Do drunk selfies I forgot taking count as time lapse photography?

    • 37
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCUnlucky_NinjaAdar79AngieBlairLoudlyParentpainsmarlespoJaden76CanadaPanda
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    KizerBillhelmHanson16Hansoncat_west_SpanishFlightslackerjorgeHungoverLawyerBoxingChuckTexasGal2014
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Weight loss tip: Put less stuff in your mouth.

    • 329
    • FAVS
    Pandoras_Shadow123winkgreciapapitasdanielle_0827JlofarsaysFlintLockeNikkimaehoneybeemkat816
    • 199
    • RETWEETS
    AllisonBieber53JurassicPattmaehoneybeeUp2LongBumfuzzledSoulLornaAnn_xhoneypyosunset_pro
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I've gotta keep it together.

    -Glue

    • 92
    • FAVS
    MrNickJCRikie_KweezyKyraRollinintheseatThePhoenixOBlairLoudlyTheOPhilosopherTheGrimKing
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    Rollinintheseatdaria_powLindraculaTheGrimKingSuchaDumbWorldParentpainsvirginiasetteOchy_Zachary
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Me: What's for dinner?
    Mom: I made stew in the slow cooker.
    Me: MOM!
    Mom: What?
    Me: That's offensive! Call it a "differently abled" cooker.

    • 96
    • FAVS
    blu57navzorro_lillypjsirrahleechee420Poorlawstudentanna_morgeDogLovesWinesamanthawags
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    ReluctantHpstrcabrsleechee420PoorlawstudentVelcroVSlaceDogLovesWinegeoghegan68btracy22
@shkeeber

@shkeeber

You don't know true horror until you've had the realization that the bath toy you were squirting in your mouth as a child was your mother's used douche.