Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I don't collect Pokémon. I collect Tasty videos, like an adult.
I hate it when I'm just about to leave the house to go work out, but something good comes on TV and I don't make it to the gym for 10 years.
Science is the ultimate religion.
Know what you can't find with the Pokémon Go app?
A sex life.
Pretty soon it will just be easier for newscasters to read a list of names of people who haven't been shot in America.
I really hope Brexit doesn't affect the release date of the new season of Black Mirror on Netflix.
There was some sort of big sporting event last night and I'm not sure who won, but if it wasn't Gryffindor, I have zero no interest at all.
I really hope I die karate kicking a shark.
The most romantic think a guy can do nowadays is not text you an unsolicited dick pic 5 minutes after getting your number.
I think maybe the ape you should all be a bit more outraged about is the orange-haired orangutan that's got his eyes set on the White House.
Office thermostats have two settings: Hell and Hoth.
The grammar Nazis!
I got an Ikea catalogue in the mail and it took me an hour to put it together.
Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Me: I ATE A KFC BOWL!
Bank teller: Hi, how may I help you today?
Me: I'd like to open a retirement account. *dumps bag of Beanie Babies and Pogs on the counter*
Remember when I used to tweet?
A gym is a place where one can pay a monthly fee to ineptly dangle off various machines while being judged by strangers.
I'd pay good money to listen to James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman having phone sex.
*goes to the emergency room holding my own severed a arm*
*has to wait for twenty minutes behind a lady buying lotto tickets*
I like romantic dinners, walks on the beach, and acid wash mom jeans.
Like @shkeeber’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Gift them Pro!