• Howdy!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    //HTTP ERROR 404: SHKEEBER NOT FOUND

    Please try again later.

    • 34
    • FAVS
    TeflonPawnastutenewfzinni426_NTFG_ParentpainsDana_Brunodick_ishmyeverylstnerve
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    _NTFG_Vanilla_cupcakHungoverLawyeryoungestneilAvatar_unknown_48
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Mom says I have to wear this paper bag over my head because I'm TOO handsome.

    • 146
    • FAVS
    addmoreninjasTeflonPawnSilverBadgerStzafuAnyalachae7arwa_siddiquidwarph8theiasdad
    • 77
    • RETWEETS
    katiebrookssTeflonPawnitslaceySilverBadgerdwarph8theiasdadastutenewfCool__Beans
    Midgetspar
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    These workout DVDs aren't helping me lose any weight and they taste terrible.

    • 93
    • FAVS
    TeflonPawnallthingspoeticbobsinbitabamazinni426krishna_van_NTFG_BonoBordeaux
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    bobsinkrishna_van_NTFG_BonoBordeauxRaviSharmaMeParentpainsdick_ishDASMIT1
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    My high school guidance counselor told me I couldn't be a knight, but this roll of aluminum foil and duct tape beg to differ.

    • 50
    • FAVS
    TeflonPawnSilverBadgersteven_swimmerbobsin_NTFG_lllvvvzzzParentpainsDana_Bruno
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    SilverBadgerbobsin_NTFG_lllvvvzzzUnlucky_NinjaCluaran_FraochGoldenNumber5GuyThe_Guy
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I thought we were supposed to get spring fever, not spring frostbite.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    TeflonPawnRollinintheseatParentpainsdick_ishMrNickJCUnlucky_NinjaGuyThe_Guychicnlil1
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    noneofyours99MrRottenFacebrwnsugabaybeeVillainTrinaastutenewfbrown_bumperclindsayswayAvatar_unknown_48
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I poured chicken soup into my eyes because they're the windows to the soul. Now I have no soup and I'm blind.

    • 51
    • FAVS
    TeflonPawnbobsinnocturnallymeSteevUmcGobaFunkdkherlihyiamMsLaurenAshem2the_gee
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    tthom1289SteevUmcGobaFunkseriousmockeryiamMsLaurenAshParentpainsUnlucky_NinjaTheHausOfKunte
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I just want someone who gets me.

    -Packages

    • 68
    • FAVS
    TeflonPawnSilverBadgerbobsin_sweet_ham_NTFG_SteevUmcYer_ActualGTCdkherlihy
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    SilverBadgertuskeraebobsintkcoltsfanzTequilademon_sweet_hamMasterb_chefgarcia_tina78
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Is it gas or something more sinister? Could YOUR butthole be haunted?

    The truth may shock you.

    Details at eleven.

    • 60
    • FAVS
    TeflonPawnPaulGibson1963SilverBadgerckyrule7bobsinrdm_guydick_ishShireenAdrian
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    SilverBadgerckyrule7bobsinCluaran_FraochAnonymous1040HuajatollaChicimabeatyoasshoeGoldenNumber5
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I express most of my emotions through karate chops.

    • 148
    • FAVS
    TeflonPawnSidusNovadaniellagoldsmbobsinWendiwolf_NTFG_val_valallanJerrieKami
    • 83
    • RETWEETS
    SidusNovabobsinWendiwolf_NTFG_JerrieKamiPeterPiper0001immortaljayeStarkCity
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    You there, gentleman with the bangs.

    Fucking stop it.

    • 71
    • FAVS
    ChiChi_MeowwTeflonPawnFreshClemonadeTwistingShadowswefinotisGhetto_Trophydankwingmalsagirl
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    Ghetto_TrophyannadiscracefulJBrockbanksWendiwolf_NTFG_SharpeBytesthedailymarkerdi_anonymously
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Dating must've been so easy for cavemen. This my cave. This my fire. You like rock? I have many.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    TeflonPawnastutenewfKendra_leigh324_NTFG_Dana_Brunordm_guydick_ishKarlTheFag
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    hurricanelamp1garcia_tina78_NTFG_BumfuzzledSoulanna_nicolletteBmadjanovichDanteAmerigoSusanMizera
    clindsaysway
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Pro tip: Avoid embarrassing tan lines by becoming a hopeless shut-in.

    • 60
    • FAVS
    rdm_guydick_ishMrNickJClecterismsUnlucky_NinjaStr8GuyGayQuoteBarW38backporchlady
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    lecterismsUnlucky_Ninjamike_addison17AbbstractedMindjapp88MorganLehyGuyThe_GuyUnFitz
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    *stumbles into room* You should see the other guy, he looks great. I've gotta stop picking fights with supermodel ninjas.

    • 41
    • FAVS
    dick_ishMrNickJCGuyThe_GuyAdar79AngieGrabTheWEnessEliHansenMusicParentpainscirclejokes
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    TommysaurDan_YoeSmellsBlairLoudlyHeyRikusMirth_QuakeHungoverLawyerAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • shkeeber
     
    Shkeeber @shkeeber

    All I know is I'll never go camping with a vagina because they're nature's bear traps and I don't want to be eaten by a bear.

    @marlespo

    • 6
    • FAVS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I don't know a lot about how lady parts work. Do the tampons repel bears...?

    • 30
    • FAVS
    dick_ishgregorydukeMrNickJCParentpainsGeorgeScumbagBlairLoudlyslackerjorgeHeyZeus666
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    ThrobertPaulsen
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    One of you is gonna have to give my mother a grandchild or she's gonna stop paying my cellphone bill.

    • 110
    • FAVS
    SilverBadgerbobsinDana_Brunoslopoke1000_theMisTstrangerbabbledick_ishDulciePlaid
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    SilverBadgerbobsinslopoke1000dick_ishSurlyJonsteedsaysnicejumbleDogLovesWine
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    The only thing I learned in gym class that I can still do is dangle from a rope one foot of the ground.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    jollyfingersdick_ishMrNickJCAdar79AngieParentpainsBlairLoudlyhuntigulaMirth_Quake
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    PwilliepW_theigirlrickkondellastutenewfZora_d_1991noneofyours99_MrsGigglePits_vivalamoi448
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Do drunk selfies I forgot taking count as time lapse photography?

    • 39
    • FAVS
    aimlessamersdick_ishMrNickJCUnlucky_NinjaAdar79AngieBlairLoudlyParentpainsmarlespo
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    KizerBillhelmHanson16Hansoncat_west_SpanishFlightslackerjorgeHungoverLawyerBoxingChuckTexasGal2014
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    Weight loss tip: Put less stuff in your mouth.

    • 355
    • FAVS
    SilverBadgerShannon_OLQuikfingers2ckyrule7GamerwithnoGameSidusNovabobsineskimopie124
    • 214
    • RETWEETS
    SilverBadger____scott___MrC2daGbobsinJoshuaWalmercactibeachjollyfingerskayleighbosher
  • shkeeber
      Shkeeber @shkeeber

    I've gotta keep it together.

    -Glue

    • 94
    • FAVS
    dick_ishMrNickJCRikie_KweezyKyraRollinintheseatThePhoenixOBlairLoudlyTheOPhilosopher
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    Rollinintheseatdaria_powLindraculaTheGrimKingSuchaDumbWorldParentpainsvirginiasetteOchy_Zachary
@shkeeber

@shkeeber

You don't know true horror until you've had the realization that the bath toy you were squirting in your mouth as a child was your mother's used douche.