Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Can I drink club soda if I'm not a member?
My kindergarten teacher used to put scratch-n-sniff stickers on our classwork. I loved the pickle one. I was literally a 5yo pickle sniffer.
One time I broke a pinata with Juan penis.
One time I got nude and leaked on some pictures I printed from the internet.
Someone in the office smelled really good this morning, and it was kinda turning me on before I realized I was smelling my new deoderant.
The best thing to put on your resume if you really want the job, is hundred-dollar bills.
If vodka ISN'T a major food group, then why is it 93% of my diet?
I may have to stop drinking. I locked my cat in the linen closet for two days because he refused to turn into Professor McGonagall.
*opens box of Ritz*
RELEASE THE CRACKERS!
*opens box of Cracker Jacks*
RELEASE THE CRACKER JACKS*
RELEASE THE CRACK!
How is Dorito NOT Spanish for door?
Brooms are mops with boners.
The best thing about not giving a shit anymore is go fuck yourself, asshole.
Are you "funny" funny or "favstar" funny?
Why the fuck can I draw Nicki Minaj's ass from memory?
Diet: di·et; noun. The short period of time one starves themself before binge eating the entire contents of one's refrigerator and pantry.
I'm surprised more marriages don't happen at gun point.
I want to see the eyes bucket challenge.
You know what, Mr Earp? You're pretty fly for Wyatt guy.
You don't know true horror until you've had the realization that the bath toy you were squirting in your mouth as a child was your mother's used douche.