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When a girl says 'what', its not that she hasn't heard you.....she's giving you the chance to change what you said!
I have a built in pocket......were I can keep your penis warm.....if you like.....
In a previous life I was rich. And hot. Yeah rich AND hot. Hence why in this life I'm skint and fucking ugly!
Well that's me officially Shooey Dugless Bsc (Hons)! Made it without falling off the stage or flashing my arse! go me!!!
I hate guys with long finger nails...I always imagine the horrible feeling of them scratching the inside of my vagina!
If you really want a golden shower, lean over your cock and piss in your own face!
'Tis the season to be horny, tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
Emptied my hole punch into one of the managers umbrella! Cause I'm an immature cunt!
Apparently it takes sperm 1 minute to travel six inches......that means it only takes my bf 30 seconds to get his sperm inside me!
If I become vegetarian does that mean I can't give head?Either that or my bf will have to exchange the phrase EAT MY MEAT with SOOK MA ROOT!
Google search: "things to do in Glasgow on a nice sunny day" Result: "hahahahahahahahaha"
You've got a face like a melted wellie!
For Christmas I'm giving my sister a fart in a jar.
I'm a girl who likes REAL meat. I like steak NOT tofu. I like cock NOT a dildo.
WHO THE FUCK UNMASKED MY GIMP WHILE I WAS GONE!
If you come near me with your screaming child, let it be known, I will dropkick them!
I swear, half you bastards must be telepathic, you steal my tweets before I even get the chance to type them!
I have lots of shoes, but no dog. My boyfriend is The Gimp. Just graduated from Whore College.