Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
you should know that if you spell it "fionce" you SHOULDNT BE ENGAGED.... she must be preggo.
I should probably tweet, don't want people thinking I died or something.
"dont ever throw yourself at a guy, unless hes super sexy and has a big dick. then its okay" - my 76 year old grandmother.. thanks.
Hefner is still trending. Omg in a week he'll be trending again cause he'll be dead.
I like when I'm retweeted. Its nice to know someone else can relate.
Lamest joke ever: hey Justin Bieber, puberty called and turns out it's not coming this year either.
Operation find a sexy guy to kiss in like 55 minutes.. starts. ..now. ;)
Being alone when you're sad is the worst.
I hate seeing the guys that deserve the best get absolute shit in their lives...
this Justin Bieber thing has gone on for too long.
"his penis reminded me of those little weiner bites we eat at christmas"
Santa put me on the naughty list....so i told him to go fuck an elf...
Props to the people who wake up and want to exercise. I wake up and all I want to do is eat chicken nuggets.
Could you imagine if all of our tweets with curse words got deleted. I'd have like 200 tweets left.
My biggest fear in life is that I won't have enough bridesmaids. Because friends that are females suck.
whenever a black person makes a joke about their ancestors being slaves, I always laugh. always.
Every fucking boy alive needs to listen to Beyonce's, If I were a boy and take a fucking hint.
Having curves > being a stick.
I would trade anything for the chance to have good knees and ankles again.