Silly word definition: Frisbeetarianism (n), the belief that, when u die, ur soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Someday we'll all look back on this and laugh... nervously, then change the subject.

The clitoris: Nature's own rubik's cube.

"You think you know pain? He will make will long for something as sweet as pain." -Random movie quote.

Its funny how falling can feel like flying, at least for a little while.

Growing up my closet didn't have a door. Later in life I came out as bisexual. I call it poetic irony.

I joined twitter so my paranoid feeling of being followed would be justified.

Where's the koolaid? They said there'd be koolaid & then we'd all go for a ride in a spaceship to see jesus. I hope I get a window seat.

I've discovered that the digital scale is more accurate... Now I know EXACTLY how much I should be depressed.

In order to have a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships them and a cat that will ignore them.

Directions for using twitter:Lather, rinse, retweet.

Today's special: Phoneless Cords! Act now & get 2 for the price of 3! (Supplies limited. Some restrictions do apply. Sizes & colors vary.)

Freedom is not a license for chaos.

@headway10 I know what u like.

@headway10 oh I'm sure the masses are entertained with our witty exchanges. ~insert cricket sounds

@headway10 there's nothing hotter than a dirty old man with a pace maker.

@headway10 there u go again. If u keep this up I'll have to go test my blood sugar.

@headway10 aw! Ur still the sweet talker. I can always count on u to make me smile.

@headway10 after the star fucking u just gave me I need a cigarette and a nap. How are u my friend?

@akarmutt when a deal sounds too good to be true it usually is...