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I love Big Bird, but stop PBS. I love green energy, but stop funds. THE TRAGEDY OF MITT ROMNEY IS HE KNOWS HE WILL KILL EVERYTHING HE LOVES
As a feminist, I never read beauty & fashion magazines, because they never have any hot tips on what to do with all these snakes in my hair.
I'm pretty sure "Get a job" is actually super-secret asshat code for "I'm just terrified how easily I could lose mine." #ows #opdx
WONT YOU PLZ JOIN ME IN BURNING EVERYTHING DOWN? Wisconsin lawmaker claims "some girls rape easy": http://t.co/OYK16SfW h/t @jkfecke
Throat lump: "@michaelhayes: message from NY to Boston projected on Brooklyn Academy of Music http://instagram.com/p/YJbQeygCFP pic.twitter.com/om0gWNpwFv"
The 1st rule of Passive-Aggressive Fight Club is... y'know what, fine, just do whatever you wanna do like usual, obvs you know best, SWEETIE
Omg I am *dying* here "@ahow: A grown ass man is mad at his girlfriend at Olive Garden & has made a menu fort pic.twitter.com/fuLbKcQH8A"
Update: Adam Baldwin continues breaking in his awful catchphrase tonight! #stoptryingtomakefetchhappen pic.twitter.com/pegoy3dVYy
"I love great schools! And coal! Federal funds are for teaching children how to mine! I love Big Bird! Send him down the mineshaft first!"
I know sometimes ppl panic when feminists say "kill all men." Relax, it's just a joke, we're kidding! What we really mean is "kill all men."
Objectivist love story: "I could stare into the deep abyss of yr eyes for hours," I purr. I press my face to yours, but the mirror fogs up.
@heysmm Dear Ayn Rand, I remain impressed that anyone could write such long books without ever letting imagination get in the way.
I had ectopic @repjoewalsh. W/o abortion I wldve died internally drowning in my blood as my organs were painfully crushed by pressure! LOL!
@angryblacklady: My Ggrandpa ILLEGALLY snuck out USSR &into US, built churches & school here. Fuck "status," immigrants BUILD this country.
Not gonna accept "pro-abortion" as perjorative, nope. Of course I'm pro-abortion: having one saved my life. NOT BEING A CORPSE FUCKING RULES
"A summer body." A seperate body for each season. Yr not allowed to have just one. We have dissembled our own selves into seasonal humanity.
@donglord69 a soul patch is also a Chaplin moustache that's fallen & slipped down, bc a fedora is not a load-bearing hat like a bowler is.
Welp, thx to @fanfiction_txt 's bad influence: I've located single worst, most horrifying slash fic EVER: http://t.co/scy90ftv #ThePianist
@dudehugs @maura @randlechris once got to friend's parked car &discvd shattered window. 1st song on radio: AnnieLennox WalkingOnBrokenGlass
Militant hysterical overreacting feminist 'cunts' unite! Fun at parties.
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