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When a millionaire prime minister who went to Eton and Oxford talks about poor people's 'sense of entitlement', satire is officially dead.
According to police, £15,000 worth of damage inside Fortnum & Mason. Someone knocked over a jar of olives.
Americans say Legos instead of Lego, presumably utilising the spare 's' from maths.
Swapped iPhone for android recently. Lots of clever dicks on here said I'd regret it and go back. Well let me tell you this: you were right.
April Fools Day is to humour what Eurovision is to music.
Sad to hear about Leslie Nielsen. "Who are you and how did you get in here?" "I'm a locksmith. And I'm a locksmith."
"Please enter your pin" - polite voodoo.
This is truly the sort of thing we British do best. (By which I mean being childishly sarcastic and making fun of posh people.)
Come on North Korea. We've all had a drink. Let's get you in a cab, yeah?
Henry Kissinger sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
The more we learn of Neolithic man, his social structures and environment, the more it seems The Flintstones was just an elaborate fiction.
This period between Christmas and New Year I always think of as training for old age, as I sit by the fire and ask my wife what day it is.
10cc have a tribute band called 10bcc who are invisible.
Looking through my iPhoto library sure brings back great memories of Untitled Event.
Before Twitter I never had a clue what was being written in the Daily Mail. Totally, blissfully ignorant. It was in many ways a golden era.
To be honest the first half of this palindrome is much better than naht retteb hcum si emordnilap siht fo flah tsrif eht tsenoh eb ot.
Apparently BBC America bleeped The Thick Of It. Must have sounded like a lorry reversing into a heart monitor.
Comedy writer/producer: Veep, The Thick Of It, In The Loop, Peep Show, Four Lions, The Old Guys, Have I Got News For You, Armstrong & Miller's RAF Pilots