@simontarr's (Simon Tarr) most faved Tweets...
We the jury find Balloon Boy's parents guilty of being stupid enough to think a six-year-old would keep his mouth shut.
I have to replace the ballcock in a toilet, but a can't buy one. Because I fall down laughing when I ask where they are at Lowe's.
Favstar sez I'm still hovering at 1.99 stars per follower. Some of you are not pulling your weight. I'm looking at you, porn bots.
Thought one of my students friended me on Facebook. After accepting, I saw it was the kid's mom. Remember when FB was fun? Me neither.
I swear to God, people. Take the goddamn mafia wars bullshit over to facebook with the other lepers.
Dear Old People,
You cannot claim memory loss to get attention AND insist on knowing everything. They cancel each other out.
love,
Simon
You cannot claim memory loss to get attention AND insist on knowing everything. They cancel each other out.
love,
Simon
My son's revelation: "You go to the bathroom and you wash your hands. But how come you don't wash the part that went to the bathroom?"
Saturday morning? Check. No reason to get up? Check. Wide awake and done sleeping at 5-motherfucking-AM? Check and mate.
You'd think that as the semester progresses that my students would star more of my tweets. Guess I'll have to grade on a curve.
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