Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
It's so cold out that I wouldn't mind going to hell.
Kayne said he was the next Mandela. Ya think he meant Madea?
My Jewish porn name is Sir Cumsized.
My life is like a vagina.
I don't know what to do with it.
I might be People Magazine's Horniest Man Alive.
I don't need a life; I have a life.
I need a reason.
I want to be the one who is impossible to explain to your friends & family.
When it rains, it hurricanes.
Definitely disappointed that the Ashton Kutcher movie "Jobs" isn't the sequel to "Blow".
Life is like a cup of coffee...
No matter how much sugar you put in it, there's always grounds at the end.
I wouldn't take a bullet for you but I would love to know why the fuck people are shooting at you
I just want to be the reason you go into witness protection.
In honor of Black Friday, my clothes will be half off at midnight.
Instagram looking like a menu without prices.
Ugh. I put the turkey in the oven almost 3 hours ago but it keeps pecking at the oven door.
Don't bite the dick that feeds you
The simultaneous pro and con of quitting smoking, is that you'll live longer to keep craving that sweet, smokey nicotine release.
"No nintendo" is spanish for "I don't understand how to set up this xbox"
This generation is killing what's left of music.