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A hawk and a bunny hanging out having a good time. http://t.co/z90rT62R
7 yr old child of gf asked how poker was going earlier today. Told her I was down $200. "Oh well, better than nothing!"
Poker is great. Win $1,000, cool, that's nice. Lose $1000, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Got a $50 gift card from a police officer today for decent exposure. He told me I had a really good wiener and to keep up the good work.
Look how good my gf is at making hats. Like her page and make her day. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Big-Doonies-Custom-Hats/225417480924579 …. pic.twitter.com/QHRvKgm9
Can't understand why Paul Ryan would sing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" considering Romney already has the racist vote locked up.
My pal @envision9 made a Craigslist ad: http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/van/m4w/3386529098.html …
@machine_drum @hannibalburess c'mon man you can't honestly think it's a good shirt
I agreed to go public swimming tonight but forgot I had a dang heart shaved into my chest hair.
@regisl sometimes past Mistakes make me sad but then i'm happy because my Mistakes led me to Here, With You.
#tweetlikeregis
Can't help but be a braggart, my staged fall (I SWEAR) walking away at our wedding got on The Chive. http://thechive.com/2013/04/30/daily-afternoon-randomness-49-photos-187/a-tuesday-22-5/ …
Lady at the liquor store asked for ID and made this old battleaxe's day!!
Just saw a 300 lb lady in Wal-Mart wearing a shirt that said "Oh I'm perfect, now stop staring." #Murrica
3 guys in Canucks organization sick today... Are you thinking what I'm thinking? #kissing #eachother
Wow thanks Obama RT @neiltyson: In 5-billion yrs the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes.
The human body is amazing. One thing I don't understand though is how all that pee can fit inside my tiny little wiener?
$110 in career earnings as a professional golfer.
