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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.

    • 1,420
    • FAVS
    DarkShinigami86juking6treydaywayliquidnoshwhereami18BareChestyjack_the_poetPrero22
    • 859
    • RETWEETS
    BrandWagon011treydaywaywhereami18Prero22_lipster__Dr_powpowmrjohntofuDylan_4life
    ericonederfulhowe007williamwantonlakeanagirlABurgerADayArroiaabrosenthalgiantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    McDonalds sweet & sour sauce is just the blood of the obese diabetic children who got stuck in the play place.

    • 1,362
    • FAVS
    DarkShinigami86treydaywaykewpiedoll2691bu77onHarbinger_oneDonQuickoatslisaxy424johnypannic
    • 805
    • RETWEETS
    treydaywayDeniseWalker81kewpiedoll2691radicaljocyShutUpThatsWho_ILoveAJLeezy818tboh_twts
    JSLauderdaleRedright_88OfficeofSteveJustMugPostedandBeamedupsheezy__________XalqeeConcernedSirGuyGrashof_RockerSTOTLE
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My ex wanted me to pour this sugar in his gas tank. He didn't say it like that. The actual text said "fuck you whore" but I got the message.

    • 948
    • FAVS
    jake_lachhook8669anerdonfiremrjohntofubu77onDonQuickoatsJuuuliaaaYoderraugtopia
    • 533
    • RETWEETS
    hook8669auntbeastieTheBoffanerdonfireskeeter4321dad_spaceShutUpThatsWhosugar_lips30
    DaddyJewdeathtoscumbagsJustMugPazerLenis
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My vagina is so stubbly it looks like its been up all night solving crime.

    • 950
    • FAVS
    aaronupclintgilkeifferbillCriggerificanerdonfireDarkShinigami86PieGuy4lifePhantomHandJob
    • 439
    • RETWEETS
    TheBoffkeifferbillAmericoPolkanerdonfireBrandWagon011PieGuy4lifeAddledPixiejuking6
    ericonederfulVodkantotsabhorrent_wifeSilleVioLisabug74JoshuaHvr
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Congratulate you on losing weight? Maybe when you throw me a parade for never being obese in the first place.

    • 918
    • FAVS
    MirabelleMarieanerdonfireDarkShinigami86treydaywaySpectacuLAURAShutUpThatsWhomonkeyribbonskcmoore51
    • 339
    • RETWEETS
    anerdonfireDarkShinigami86treydaywaySaveItForFestThejen75kcmoore51faizziymjkspeaks
    _Shizzle__________Frankie_Valnoogrufus_lipschitz
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    At first I was like "Why isn't my iPad taking pictures?!" but then I was all "Oh this is a cookie sheet." Honest mistake.

    • 863
    • FAVS
    DarkShinigami86juking6treydaywaykewpiedoll2691SPAC3CRAFMayhem_Monicadeepakrai916mrjohntofu
    • 369
    • RETWEETS
    treydaywaykewpiedoll2691ndiquoteRandomchkkSPAC3CRAFdeepakrai916mrjohntofuTheBeerGuy73
    JosesLovesYouSmithWitConcernedSirGuyYesThatAmyBlairLoudlyDallyDoll
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Mom asked what I was laughing at. I said Twitter. She asked how to find my page. This is the same face I had on 9/11.

    • 894
    • FAVS
    DarkShinigami86treydaywaybu77onericonederfulthe_littletrampShutUpThatsWhoAintSoFunnyMeowMandiAtRandom
    • 269
    • RETWEETS
    DarkShinigami86spidersense_treydaywayrmoultoncapitalBareChestyfaizziynowarrantywhitesox9
    JB4RealzDionneMcNuttSoFuckingMature__ilgrandechuckSarcasmo718
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    You know what's sexy? Not being a fucking asshole.

    • 795
    • FAVS
    DarkShinigami86juking6treydaywaylisaxy424the_littletrampShutUpThatsWhoAintSoFunnyMeowMandiAtRandom
    • 364
    • RETWEETS
    CeeFemmedoux57DarkShinigami86spidersense_treydaywayhardcore_kittenMentalMisterMyteriousMayaMyaGonz8
    curlymalloy
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Do you ever get your period and think, well that explains those 30 arguments I started this morning?

    • 581
    • FAVS
    DarkShinigami86juking6treydaywayrockfairydivaSpectacuLAURALoveNLunchmeatWoJiangYouseriouslyamy
    • 380
    • RETWEETS
    BrandWagon011briannadevonneDarkShinigami86spidersense_juking6treydaywaykarmagirlincalibradgearon
    another_lisa
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Yeah, keep pissing me off like I haven't been training to clean up a bloody murder scene since my first period...

    • 624
    • FAVS
    treydaywaylisaxy424ShutUpThatsWhoAintSoFunnyMeowMandiAtRandomDrDweezilGoodLikkerericonederful
    • 291
    • RETWEETS
    ShutUpThatsWhoGoodLikkerHawgLegHendrixGirliegurll_KrbpBareChestyRICKSH0WZainabali_87
    NotYourSoulmateSpankMeIm0tyDallyDollmisstarafied
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I really live for those first five minutes of a relationship, before the hate sets in.

    • 660
    • FAVS
    suziqkelleyDarkShinigami86treydaywaybu77onlisaxy424SoulYodelerthe_littletrampShutUpThatsWho
    • 240
    • RETWEETS
    suziqkelleyManicmommy70DarkShinigami86treydaywayWretchGeek__nikkistyranbhagatsingh016faizziy
    williamwantonPetey__E__________
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Relationships, because how else will you know how you're failing as a person?

    • 510
    • FAVS
    bu77onlisaxy424the_littletrampShutUpThatsWhoMichiMauxAintSoFunnyMeowWildeThingyhilarebel
    • 224
    • RETWEETS
    ShutUpThatsWhohilarebelElleTexasGirliegurllKRISTINB5150BareChestyTedBundybitchDarwinStearns
    rossbransondgphotos__________twayne1010
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Why couldn't I have been the hot, tan, Mila Kunis kind of Russian instead of the pale, blocky, 'help me move these trees' kind of Russian?!

    • 505
    • FAVS
    suziqkelleyDarkShinigami86treydaywaylisaxy424the_littletrampShutUpThatsWhoAintSoFunnyMeowDrDweezil
    • 141
    • RETWEETS
    suziqkelleytreydaywayfaizziyblaha_WhoDadandBuriediwearaonesieNichollsTerencehassanaqeel2
    adamrunsfar
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    If there's a more important decision than picking a towel you won't mind turning into a murder scene for period sex someone please tell me.

    • 527
    • FAVS
    SpectacuLAURAlisaxy424ShutUpThatsWhoAintSoFunnyMeowMandiAtRandomericonederfulBareChestyAnnoyedGruntx
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    ShutUpThatsWhoevanirbrasilgerjust1foolgm_cageiGreenMonksirmunchie__caseytduncanMr_Kapowski
    Mr_0rang3DanKCharnleyFrankCurtisB
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I can't be the only woman who gets creeped out when she realizes her ovaries sniff out and sync up with other ovaries without her permission

    • 487
    • FAVS
    bu77onlisaxy424the_littletrampShutUpThatsWhoDrDweezilericonederfulBareChestyAnnoyedGruntx
    • 120
    • RETWEETS
    BelleVie73AGreaterMonstergm_cagesirmunchie__caseytduncanerin4091raycholebunnyBrookeFHaney_
    JustMug
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    This pint of ice cream I ate in one sitting really brings out the natural colors in my loneliness.

    • 434
    • FAVS
    bu77onlisaxy424the_littletrampShutUpThatsWhoAintSoFunnyMeowMandiAtRandomDrDweezilericonederful
    • 152
    • RETWEETS
    ShutUpThatsWhofaizziyblaha_WhoAGreaterMonstergm_cagesirmunchie__themomevolution14ATX
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Ate a whole box of donuts. But I ate them *really* fast so hopefully that counts as a workout and balances out the calories.

    • 396
    • FAVS
    lisaxy424the_littletrampdad_spaceShutUpThatsWhoAintSoFunnyMeowDrDweezilDJV410lildandeli0n
    • 160
    • RETWEETS
    dad_spaceShutUpThatsWhoFancyNancyAnnlildandeli0nfaizziyblaha_WhoAGreaterMonsterSarahW1919
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Poor bf...guy thinks I can't talk around his dick in my mouth. He's going to hear about my shitty day even if it chokes me.

    • 431
    • FAVS
    lisaxy424ShutUpThatsWhoAintSoFunnyMeowericonederfulbristrikesuroutndiquoteGirliegurllbrandyl1120
    • 122
    • RETWEETS
    ShutUpThatsWhondiquoteGirliegurllBareChestysirmunchie__hearsegirlcaseytduncanediable_arsenic
    BillArrundalePretzelNY
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    The other day bf kissed me softly, looked in my eyes & asked why my tampon wasn't out yet. Sorry ladies, guess I got the last romantic one.

    • 458
    • FAVS
    lisaxy424ShutUpThatsWhoericonederfulBareChestyAnnoyedGruntxblaha_Whoninjazed6989mellott
    • 95
    • RETWEETS
    blaha_WhoAGreaterMonstergm_cagesirmunchie__MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadypseudo_fredfavstar_history
    giantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I like people who use song lyrics at the end of their FB posts. It lets me know they're sensitive and about to be deleted of my friend list.

    • 424
    • FAVS
    lisaxy424ShutUpThatsWhoAintSoFunnyMeowericonederfulBareChestyAnnoyedGruntxmomma0315Ms__Miscellany
    • 80
    • RETWEETS
    NichollsTerencesirmunchie__caseytduncanPoiznSongbirdTheCattyLadyTlaxBoy05AJ_VanFossensharkies3
    KimJungilSpirit__
@Sirrruh

@Sirrruh

Stand up comedian at local bus stops and contributing columnist to any public bathroom stall I walk into. http://favstar.fm/users/Sirrruh

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