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  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    McDonalds sweet & sour sauce is just the blood of the obese diabetic children who got stuck in the play place.

    • 1,218
    • FAVS
    momma0315jon_costellotristanberghjackw_99DharmaPhilElijkfcUsetobeabastardNichollsTerence
    • 715
    • RETWEETS
    tristanberghjackw_99kalllleeyyyUsetobeabastardIsted_1PussycatPlacevexroidfasei
    JSLauderdaleRedright_88OfficeofSteveJustMugPostedandBeamedupsheezy__________XalqeeConcernedSirGuyGrashof_RockerSTOTLE
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.

    • 1,131
    • FAVS
    adanzqueenDoubleAAyoJuliasPappaSamaraLumleybooty_snootyOddisJrKenHuxley1SCGreyBeard
    • 634
    • RETWEETS
    adanzqueencozbelligerent722115102SCGreyBeard52O11149OElgatoEsmioGyilkostKmPensinger__
    lakeanagirlABurgerADayArroiaabrosenthalgiantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My ex wanted me to pour this sugar in his gas tank. He didn't say it like that. The actual text said "fuck you whore" but I got the message.

    • 863
    • FAVS
    WalkingCivilWarmomma0315Ameiam_amythjennunger11leboismOneArmedBabePhrustated
    • 491
    • RETWEETS
    WalkingCivilWarKmPensinger__cecemzimelagultcartmandangertoonmohamudmohamudlilianbuzzettoGelasticGoGo
    DaddyJewdeathtoscumbagsJustMugPazerLenis
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Congratulate you on losing weight? Maybe when you throw me a parade for never being obese in the first place.

    • 895
    • FAVS
    momma0315NichollsTerencevexroidArtIsMyPorngm_cageBrohamuletsirmunchie__shakes31471
    • 330
    • RETWEETS
    NichollsTerenceravingrantvexroidKmPensinger__gm_cagesirmunchie__shakes31471kv8
    _Shizzle__________Frankie_Valnoogrufus_lipschitz
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    At first I was like "Why isn't my iPad taking pictures?!" but then I was all "Oh this is a cookie sheet." Honest mistake.

    • 827
    • FAVS
    momma0315cozbelligerentTMcgutsNichollsTerencehazelrupertbehindyourbackleboismArtIsMyPorn
    • 352
    • RETWEETS
    TMcgutsNichollsTerenceleboismArtIsMyPorngm_cageBrohamuletxofrecklessirmunchie__
    JosesLovesYouSmithWitConcernedSirGuyYesThatAmyBlairLoudlyDallyDoll
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Mom asked what I was laughing at. I said Twitter. She asked how to find my page. This is the same face I had on 9/11.

    • 876
    • FAVS
    momma0315cozbelligerentNichollsTerenceArtIsMyPorngm_cagesirmunchie__sarahchrissyEdwinaCrumple
    • 260
    • RETWEETS
    gm_cagesirmunchie__sarahchrissyAnneClareIvyPeachcandybabeAGreaterMonsterLerkycaseytduncan
    JB_4_RealzDionneMcNuttSoFuckingMature__ilgrandechuckSarcasmo718
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My vagina is so stubbly it looks like its been up all night solving crime.

    • 783
    • FAVS
    RichHarris2momma0315xxxtine1969mermaidqueen_xoJamesJGCasegeee_niusRodneyH42cozbelligerent
    • 349
    • RETWEETS
    momma0315cozbelligerentKissabiXBostonAccent79leashalettelovestained555Old_EnkiUsetobeabastard
    abhorrent_wifeSilleVioLisabug74JoshuaHvr
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    You know what's sexy? Not being a fucking asshole.

    • 774
    • FAVS
    momma0315cozbelligerentRICKSH0WNichollsTerencehassanaqeel2UntouchableSheeverydayeyedieGelasticGoGo
    • 353
    • RETWEETS
    NichollsTerenceapok842CinEckCriGelasticGoGoWhosYourVadergm_cageTheWhirlapocketfullabats
    curlymalloy
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Yeah, keep pissing me off like I haven't been training to clean up a bloody murder scene since my first period...

    • 608
    • FAVS
    momma0315AmeiamNichollsTerenceSpacePlanktonleboismsmhbrbZainabali_87ArtIsMyPorn
    • 284
    • RETWEETS
    Zainabali_87ArtIsMyPornGelasticGoGogm_cagesirmunchie__giantdbagWelly_BootsAGreaterMonster
    NotYourSoulmateSpankMeIm0tyDallyDollmisstarafied
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Do you ever get your period and think, well that explains those 30 arguments I started this morning?

    • 528
    • FAVS
    AmeiamNichollsTerencenrharapanmcibtymiss_fox90nichole7676Dangermook40supnugget
    • 353
    • RETWEETS
    JialeeeeenrhfrhzanaazainHuda_Wahab_srhndhrh_privateworld99supnuggetNeuronicism
    another_lisa
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I really live for those first five minutes of a relationship, before the hate sets in.

    • 634
    • FAVS
    momma0315hstweetheartOutOnTheMoorsweatherman7176trashtasticaEric_NikiforovAPuzzellofungilawyer
    • 230
    • RETWEETS
    tailing2ideasOutOnTheMoorsweatherman7176Henry_3kjokerjunkfungilawyerAmeiamPLANEPierre
    williamwantonPetey__E__________
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Relationships, because how else will you know how you're failing as a person?

    • 462
    • FAVS
    momma0315AmeiamKonstantinaDrMoxiePieNichollsTerenceroula_panathaBittyB3Touchemonsieur
    • 197
    • RETWEETS
    ___VaSo___MoxiePieNichollsTerenceBittyB3just1fooljaprufrockishiamgurpDigitalDropz
    rossbransondgphotos__________twayne1010
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    If there's a more important decision than picking a towel you won't mind turning into a murder scene for period sex someone please tell me.

    • 518
    • FAVS
    momma0315NichollsTerencejust1foolmae_marsgm_cagejodi_packardBrohamuletiGreenMonk
    • 109
    • RETWEETS
    evanirbrasilgerjust1foolgm_cageiGreenMonksirmunchie__caseytduncanMr_KapowskiMalcInYourWife
    Mr_0rang3DanKCharnleyFrankCurtisB
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Why couldn't I have been the hot, tan, Mila Kunis kind of Russian instead of the pale, blocky, 'help me move these trees' kind of Russian?!

    • 489
    • FAVS
    momma0315SuburbanComaNichollsTerencehassanaqeel2ArtIsMyPornmae_marsgm_cageCher_IAm
    • 135
    • RETWEETS
    NichollsTerencehassanaqeel2gm_cageBrohamuletsirmunchie__themomevolution14ATXcaseytduncan
    adamrunsfar
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I can't be the only woman who gets creeped out when she realizes her ovaries sniff out and sync up with other ovaries without her permission

    • 474
    • FAVS
    momma0315NichollsTerenceArtIsMyPorngm_cage_sarcophaguskirstblairsirmunchie__irvin_bonnie
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    gm_cagesirmunchie__caseytduncanerin4091raycholebunnyBrookeFHaney_Mr_Kapowskijaredprice
    JustMug
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    This pint of ice cream I ate in one sitting really brings out the natural colors in my loneliness.

    • 417
    • FAVS
    momma0315NichollsTerencegm_cageHeyZeus666sirmunchie__matsmoustachethemomevolutionPetrickSara
    • 148
    • RETWEETS
    gm_cagesirmunchie__themomevolution14ATXcaseytduncanSamDelanchePoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWife
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    The other day bf kissed me softly, looked in my eyes & asked why my tampon wasn't out yet. Sorry ladies, guess I got the last romantic one.

    • 449
    • FAVS
    momma0315NichollsTerencegm_cagesirmunchie__CanadianMclovinhadafewbeersediable_arsenicMr_Kapowski
    • 93
    • RETWEETS
    gm_cagesirmunchie__MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadypseudo_fredfavstar_historyAJ_VanFossenbaliska2
    giantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Poor bf...guy thinks I can't talk around his dick in my mouth. He's going to hear about my shitty day even if it chokes me.

    • 421
    • FAVS
    momma0315NichollsTerencegm_cageCher_IAm_sarcophagussirmunchie__themomevolutionhearsegirl
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    sirmunchie__hearsegirlcaseytduncanediable_arsenicYourWorship_mostillusiveissabeelleeLengsanity1
    BillArrundalePretzelNY
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Ate a whole box of donuts. But I ate them *really* fast so hopefully that counts as a workout and balances out the calories.

    • 377
    • FAVS
    momma0315NichollsTerencehassanaqeel2ArtIsMyPornidiositygm_cagesirmunchie__Tulipsofmine
    • 153
    • RETWEETS
    SarahW1919gm_cagesirmunchie__caseytduncanSophiieMallardmelanieobrien_CanadianMclovinCuriousMsMeg
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I like people who use song lyrics at the end of their FB posts. It lets me know they're sensitive and about to be deleted of my friend list.

    • 418
    • FAVS
    momma0315MissMisscellanyNichollsTerence_sarcophagussirmunchie__14ATXJustUnstableMecaseytduncan
    • 80
    • RETWEETS
    NichollsTerencesirmunchie__caseytduncanPoiznSongbirdTheCattyLadyTlaxBoy05AJ_VanFossensharkies3
    KimJungilSpirit__
@Sirrruh

@Sirrruh

Stand up comedian at local bus stops and contributing columnist to any public bathroom stall I walk into. http://favstar.fm/users/Sirrruh

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