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  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    McDonalds sweet & sour sauce is just the blood of the obese diabetic children who got stuck in the play place.

    • 1,112
    • FAVS
    MalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalMrNoAnswersTheCattyLady662x3Pee_And_GigglesMondayPajamasjody_currie
    • 657
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyNDweebieOkieGirl405MondayPajamasOfficeofSteveNawkfuts
    Redright_88OfficeofSteveJustMugPostedandBeamedupsheezy__________XalqeeConcernedSirGuyGrashof_RockerSTOTLE
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.

    • 1,013
    • FAVS
    MalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyIndyblackJK77brotherkristophPee_And_GigglesMondayPajamasTheTalkingPipe
    • 555
    • RETWEETS
    JennyPeechesMalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyOkieGirl405MondayPajamasOfficeofSteveAlejandraortig
    lakeanagirlABurgerADayArroiaabrosenthalgiantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Congratulate you on losing weight? Maybe when you throw me a parade for never being obese in the first place.

    • 863
    • FAVS
    kaydahliaMalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadyPee_And_GigglesMondayPajamashbreaker9999pseudo_fredBrianIncognito
    • 315
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadyOkieGirl405MondayPajamasOfficeofStevepseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenPoiznSongbird
    _Shizzle__________Frankie_Valnoogrufus_lipschitz
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    At first I was like "Why isn't my iPad taking pictures?!" but then I was all "Oh this is a cookie sheet." Honest mistake.

    • 786
    • FAVS
    Whoopdeedoo22JlofarsaysMalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadyMsMurfieTheTalkingPipeelizabiteSuMacDan
    • 329
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadyOkieGirl405OfficeofSteveTheTalkingPipehbreaker9999pseudo_fredAJ_VanFossen
    JosesLovesYouSmithWitConcernedSirGuyYesThatAmyBlairLoudlyDallyDoll
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My ex wanted me to pour this sugar in his gas tank. He didn't say it like that. The actual text said "fuck you whore" but I got the message.

    • 679
    • FAVS
    Whoopdeedoo22MalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyPee_And_GigglesBorderlinerunImsohoppykillthegreats
    • 398
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyImsohoppypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenEagles_Fan_1977TheBeerGuy73
    DaddyJewdeathtoscumbagsJustMugPazerLenis
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Mom asked what I was laughing at. I said Twitter. She asked how to find my page. This is the same face I had on 9/11.

    • 835
    • FAVS
    TheCattyLadyAnonymousInZAImsohoppypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenPoiznSongbirdPAT_E_ROCKnovicefather
    • 238
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadyImsohoppypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenPoiznSongbirdPAT_E_ROCKFrankCurtisB
    DionneMcNuttSoFuckingMature__ilgrandechuckSarcasmo718
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    You know what's sexy? Not being a fucking asshole.

    • 666
    • FAVS
    TheCattyLadyPee_And_Gigglespseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenPoiznSongbirdtweeterjak143sternOMG_Jessica_G
    • 290
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadyjimmyfnjonesPee_And_Gigglespseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenPoiznSongbirdAHouse21
    curlymalloy
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My vagina is so stubbly it looks like its been up all night solving crime.

    • 574
    • FAVS
    Whoopdeedoo22U_LookedkillingmesoftlirobZiiiVsteelcityfan278velina1115thedridgeJimCoopr
    • 245
    • RETWEETS
    killingmesoftlic6ae457a5dc34bbarmyantstudiosMalcInYourWifer_wolfcastleIzianikapaniTheCattyLadyBorderlinerun
    Lisabug74JoshuaHvr
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Yeah, keep pissing me off like I haven't been training to clean up a bloody murder scene since my first period...

    • 552
    • FAVS
    MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadyPee_And_GigglescipollonskyheaveninabowlTheTalkingPipepseudo_fredAJ_VanFossen
    • 256
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadyTheTalkingPipepseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenPAT_E_ROCKbbyvelociraptorfillthevacuum
    SpankMeIm0tyDallyDollmisstarafied
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I really live for those first five minutes of a relationship, before the hate sets in.

    • 587
    • FAVS
    PoiznSongbirdWhoopdeedoo22MalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyPee_And_GigglesTheTalkingPipeImsohoppy
    • 208
    • RETWEETS
    PoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyTheTalkingPipeImsohoppypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossen
    Petey__E__________
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Do you ever get your period and think, well that explains those 30 arguments I started this morning?

    • 439
    • FAVS
    Whoopdeedoo22SSparklesDailykaydahliaMalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalAyeAyeSirqdesolTheCattyLadyBorderlinerun
    • 260
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyBorderlinerunMargo690pseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenfillthevacuum
    another_lisa
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    If there's a more important decision than picking a towel you won't mind turning into a murder scene for period sex someone please tell me.

    • 498
    • FAVS
    kaydahliaMalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossensharkies3TlaxBoy05BadaBinge
    • 102
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossensharkies3TlaxBoy05VanVeenBWiseFada
    Mr_0rang3DanKCharnleyFrankCurtisB
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Relationships, because how else will you know how you're failing as a person?

    • 422
    • FAVS
    PoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenHeyZeus666FoolSpeakBackpackerBooie
    • 175
    • RETWEETS
    PoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenlisa_wegnerGutiIslandAndee_Stewart
    rossbransondgphotos__________twayne1010
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Why couldn't I have been the hot, tan, Mila Kunis kind of Russian instead of the pale, blocky, 'help me move these trees' kind of Russian?!

    • 458
    • FAVS
    PoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWifeIzianikapaniTheCattyLadypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenLorieGZnotstate
    • 122
    • RETWEETS
    PoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossensharkies3TlaxBoy05nerdysongbird__
    adambation
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I can't be the only woman who gets creeped out when she realizes her ovaries sniff out and sync up with other ovaries without her permission

    • 449
    • FAVS
    Whoopdeedoo22MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadyPee_And_Gigglesninjadinosaur1pseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenoysterpads
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossenjohngayseesharkies3TlaxBoy05VanVeenB
    JustMug
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    This pint of ice cream I ate in one sitting really brings out the natural colors in my loneliness.

    • 394
    • FAVS
    PoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWifeEric310776MythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyPee_And_Gigglespan_opt_iconpseudo_fred
    • 142
    • RETWEETS
    PoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossennotstatebaliska2
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    The other day bf kissed me softly, looked in my eyes & asked why my tampon wasn't out yet. Sorry ladies, guess I got the last romantic one.

    • 441
    • FAVS
    kaydahliaMalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossennotstatebaliska2
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadypseudo_fredfavstar_historyAJ_VanFossenbaliska2sharkies3TlaxBoy05
    giantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Ate a whole box of donuts. But I ate them *really* fast so hopefully that counts as a workout and balances out the calories.

    • 353
    • FAVS
    AngryRaccoon2ewws13PoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWifemcibtyMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyPee_And_Giggles
    • 143
    • RETWEETS
    amont8PoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyTlaxBoy05AJ_VanFossenlucy_nyholm123
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Poor bf...guy thinks I can't talk around his dick in my mouth. He's going to hear about my shitty day even if it chokes me.

    • 390
    • FAVS
    MalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyintherawmusicTara4nowAJ_VanFossenorangehamster13160books
    • 103
    • RETWEETS
    TheCattyLadyintherawmusicAJ_VanFossen160bookssharkies3TlaxBoy05iwearaonesieDionneMcNutt
    BillArrundalePretzelNY
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I like people who use song lyrics at the end of their FB posts. It lets me know they're sensitive and about to be deleted of my friend list.

    • 406
    • FAVS
    PoiznSongbirdTheCattyLadyAJ_VanFossensharkies3hispanicmathmaniwearaonesieNaked_Wombatlucidchemistry
    • 77
    • RETWEETS
    PoiznSongbirdTheCattyLadyTlaxBoy05AJ_VanFossensharkies3lucidchemistryrickkondellPurpleCatJewels
    KimJungilSpirit__
@Sirrruh

@Sirrruh

Stand up comedian at local bus stops and contributing columnist to any public bathroom stall I walk into. http://favstar.fm/users/Sirrruh