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  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    McDonalds sweet & sour sauce is just the blood of the obese diabetic children who got stuck in the play place.

    • 1,026
    • FAVS
    lunchbox_23ddsmidtv3katelynnSocial_Mimeeiffeltowerchijoocy_frootashlar36steviethek
    • 602
    • RETWEETS
    GLORY_karayv3katelynnSocial_Mimejoocy_frootashlar36adult_keveragedmorgan65studmuffinMeg
    JustMugPostedandBeamedupsheezy__________XalqeeConcernedSirGuyGrashof_RockerSTOTLE
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.

    • 887
    • FAVS
    SweetxoxCheeksJen_Up_Social_Mimeeiffeltowerchiadult_keverageUntouchableSheJuliaProud2014darkroomv
    • 478
    • RETWEETS
    SweetxoxCheeksjoannaingGLORY_karayJen_Up_Social_MimeUntouchableSheamandaRgloorJuliaProud2014
    Arroiaabrosenthalgiantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Congratulate you on losing weight? Maybe when you throw me a parade for never being obese in the first place.

    • 776
    • FAVS
    TehNemsterSocial_MimeeiffeltowerchiYBGTIBGemilyneatashlar36jrza84adult_keverage
    • 276
    • RETWEETS
    TehNemsterGLORY_karaySocial_MimeYBGTIBGadult_keveragenicola_edmondsjenniferland_psyzod
    _ShizzleFrankie_Valnoogrufus_lipschitz
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Mom asked what I was laughing at. I said Twitter. She asked how to find my page. This is the same face I had on 9/11.

    • 787
    • FAVS
    oneibrandivaniaperruzzaNotThatKunalSocial_Mimeeiffeltowerchiadult_keverageTDeeRockChelle92x
    • 213
    • RETWEETS
    GLORY_karaySocial_MimeJimmySelfDestlimesantimepsyzodIwriteforcatsthenameisSavi____vinfury
    SoFuckingMature__ilgrandechuckSarcasmo718
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    At first I was like "Why isn't my iPad taking pictures?!" but then I was all "Oh this is a cookie sheet." Honest mistake.

    • 705
    • FAVS
    Social_Mimeeiffeltowerchiadult_keveragecboucherunBig_G0TTIsamanthabenne20psyzodaprilmaywilson
    • 293
    • RETWEETS
    GLORY_karaySocial_MimepsyzodGoggnerMidlifecrisis18WideWorldOfMattFlappyboobzAthenaMystique
    JosesLovesYouSmithWitConcernedSirGuyYesThatAmyBlairLoudlyDallyDoll
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    You know what's sexy? Not being a fucking asshole.

    • 605
    • FAVS
    adult_keverageMidlifecrisis18_bryceTealisa1972mctenacioust68LeahDaisyDWine_Plznakedlaughing____
    • 241
    • RETWEETS
    AmyKemperleBrewHimselftenacioust68LeahDaisyDStarksWeekWine_PlzthatdutchpersonSamiNichole22
    curlymalloy
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My ex wanted me to pour this sugar in his gas tank. He didn't say it like that. The actual text said "fuck you whore" but I got the message.

    • 510
    • FAVS
    JoelleDeannaStrictlyBitchySamanthaLynn149bristrikesuroutSocial_MimeTeejayRushkells_414_TheRealMCC0Y
    • 306
    • RETWEETS
    GLORY_karaynuzzzztaylorblantonnnbristrikesuroutSocial_MimeTeejayRush_TheRealMCC0Yloisandbea
    DaddyJewdeathtoscumbagsJustMugPazerLenis
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Yeah, keep pissing me off like I haven't been training to clean up a bloody murder scene since my first period...

    • 492
    • FAVS
    alibean_3mikeytheweaselzomboy666phdowsonemilyneat76coopashlar36x_Miss_Malice_x
    • 224
    • RETWEETS
    trish43leafs76coopashlar36jkroppsadult_keveragesteedsaysJulesC70Midlifecrisis18
    SpankMeIm0tyDallyDollmisstarafied
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I really live for those first five minutes of a relationship, before the hate sets in.

    • 521
    • FAVS
    eiffeltowerchiadult_keverageitstotallyobvicharityjoy77JulesC70Midlifecrisis18_bryceTeaWine_Plz
    • 174
    • RETWEETS
    JulesC70Midlifecrisis18craziisoulRingGirl2012AndieeBitchhDurtMcHurtthuitzilopochtlaTwisted_Mettle
    Petey__E__________
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My vagina is so stubbly it looks like its been up all night solving crime.

    • 456
    • FAVS
    eiffeltowerchiadult_keverageMakesYouGigglezachary_hamel9YourFavMexi_CanHeyZeus666johngayseeThe1OnlyWBR
    • 195
    • RETWEETS
    Brieahollandunderyourbed666zachary_hamel9YourFavMexi_CanjohngayseeMARCHANTKwelfarehoeSexyTeaTime
    Lisabug74JoshuaHvr
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Do you ever get your period and think, well that explains those 30 arguments I started this morning?

    • 377
    • FAVS
    troublewakerjohngaysee_bryceTeablackdynamite42CrlyheadedfckHayley_Stelllisa1972mcIcyInsomnia
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    SluffsStellingCrlyheadedfckHayley_StellWine_PlzMiii_Kaylacquinnelly73LadyNinabitMissPaige229
    another_lisa
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    If there's a more important decision than picking a towel you won't mind turning into a murder scene for period sex someone please tell me.

    • 477
    • FAVS
    _bryceTeaWine_Plzthatdutchpersoncquinnelly73Jojo_51213Twisted_Mettlearcaduhrodtopia
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    FunkyFresh_79annejerbBryanThadizzlerIslamShaaban__rednetwork306AyeMcshaneRS3FeedNahdude83
    agent_0rang3DanKCharnleyFrankCurtisB
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Why couldn't I have been the hot, tan, Mila Kunis kind of Russian instead of the pale, blocky, 'help me move these trees' kind of Russian?!

    • 421
    • FAVS
    _bryceTeaWine_Plzdenizen42thatdutchpersoncquinnelly73Twisted_MettlearcaduhAdventuresOfDan
    • 105
    • RETWEETS
    thatdutchpersoncquinnelly73FruitOfTheLoinsfreeze6FunkyFresh_79mohdrasydan17JoshuaHvrkuusela34
    adambation
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I can't be the only woman who gets creeped out when she realizes her ovaries sniff out and sync up with other ovaries without her permission

    • 417
    • FAVS
    Wine_Plzcquinnelly73Twisted_MettleAdventuresOfDanGrind_n_RollUp2LongMellicubedPYWL
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    cquinnelly73Up2LongMellicubeddeathtoscumbagsgreg_veeMel46290HelmdawgEkimprovising
    JustMug
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Relationships, because how else will you know how you're failing as a person?

    • 371
    • FAVS
    _bryceTeaHayley_Stelllisa1972mcWine_Plzcquinnelly73215potterSarahLaletinTwisted_Mettle
    • 139
    • RETWEETS
    Wine_PlzbornmiserableWhatevaConcHorrorSandWichVN_Rubenrossbransonbrianbowman73brownpoopypants
    rossbransondgphotos__________twayne1010
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    The other day bf kissed me softly, looked in my eyes & asked why my tampon wasn't out yet. Sorry ladies, guess I got the last romantic one.

    • 418
    • FAVS
    _bryceTeaWine_PlzTwisted_MettlearcaduhJPoor314Grind_n_RollUp2LongPYWL
    • 77
    • RETWEETS
    brownpoopypantsBillArrundalegreg_veeIslamShaaban__rednetwork306RS3FeedclownholeNateMorrising
    giantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    This pint of ice cream I ate in one sitting really brings out the natural colors in my loneliness.

    • 358
    • FAVS
    Wine_PlzSarahLaletinTwisted_MettlebornmiserablearcaduhAdventuresOfDanGrind_n_Rollinsinuateme
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    Ana_stay22bornmiserableBryanThadizzlerUp2LongBlack__Elvisgreg_veeIslamShaaban__rednetwork306
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I like people who use song lyrics at the end of their FB posts. It lets me know they're sensitive and about to be deleted of my friend list.

    • 387
    • FAVS
    eiffeltowerchiWine_PlzarcaduhAdventuresOfDanJPoor314Grind_n_Rollgreg_veeUp2Long
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    hiiicaitlinFleeBiscuitBryanThadizzlerIslamShaaban__rednetwork306RS3FeedclownholeMSgtPatton
    KimJungilSpirit__
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Poor bf...guy thinks I can't talk around his dick in my mouth. He's going to hear about my shitty day even if it chokes me.

    • 358
    • FAVS
    Wine_PlzTwisted_MettlearcaduhAdventuresOfDanJPoor314Grind_n_RollFruitOfTheLoinUp2Long
    • 89
    • RETWEETS
    FruitOfTheLoinbrownpoopypantsJaysmemoirBillArrundaleTeddieFoxLickyourstein____TheDunkleAkaCorbinDallas__
    BillArrundalePretzelNY
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Ate a whole box of donuts. But I ate them *really* fast so hopefully that counts as a workout and balances out the calories.

    • 311
    • FAVS
    eiffeltowerchiSarahLaletinTwisted_MettlebornmiserablearcaduhAdventuresOfDanJPoor314Grind_n_Roll
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    Ana_stay22VCC513bornmiserableUp2LongYahiaSpeaks1sarcasticgingeonelongbenderBlack__Elvis
    HysteriaBarbie
@Sirrruh

@Sirrruh

My hatred for Jersey Shore, Twilight, and The Hunger Games have consumed me. http://t.co/456ZHJ5Szp