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  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Gift @Sirrruh Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 1,520
    • LIKES
    HousewifeOfHellCarolulu88drayzzelustinlivinglisaferlivesconnier519RdrJay47dad_divorced
    • 966
    • RETWEETS
    kellie_wilfordalvymomof3echo_stepHousewifeOfHelldrayzzeRdrJay47dad_divorcedNotYourSoulmate
    ericonederfulhowe007williamwantonlakeanagirlABurgerADayArroiaabrosenthalgiantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    McDonalds sweet & sour sauce is just the blood of the obese diabetic children who got stuck in the play place.

    • 1,458
    • LIKES
    ruraljulesSarcasticsapiend_weisHockeyGoddess24aplemkseriouslybluejay4444twbuttsdrayzze
    • 882
    • RETWEETS
    MacieDoremus__twbuttsLimeylizziedrayzzesexorpizzamomma0315RdrJay47partlyfunny
    JSLauderdaleRedright_88OfficeofSteveJustMugPostedandBeamedupsheezy__________XalqeeConcernedSirGuyGrashof_RockerSTOTLE
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My vagina is so stubbly it looks like its been up all night solving crime.

    • 1,223
    • LIKES
    ruraljulesTweetyHatchedpartlyfunnyStairwaytoSe7enWindPushedGrassfuzzlimesharky54301RohitKohli236
    • 580
    • RETWEETS
    twEEKdeezypartlyfunnyStairwaytoSe7enWindPushedGrassRohitKohli236mjkspeaksBenjaw1ndarrinfb
    LackOfShameericonederfulVodkantotsabhorrent_wifeSilleVioLisabug74JoshuaHvr
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My ex wanted me to pour this sugar in his gas tank. He didn't say it like that. The actual text said "fuck you whore" but I got the message.

    • 1,118
    • LIKES
    ruraljulesmisssugarquoteduhohitscristinaKatyHibTmb1818TinaShaunoondrayzzeSarcasticsapien
    • 614
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    drayzzeSkylerAtripartlyfunnyWas_I_invertedmjkspeaksdarrinfbInsomniac_MedicNawtyMynx
    OrignalceQueenthatguysinghDaddyJewdeathtoscumbagsJustMugPazerLenis
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Christians talk about jesus coming back like he's a dad who left for cigarettes when they were younger.

    • 1,083
    • LIKES
    thefostererCulturedRuffianEirulLeinadWhatupBiotchAJslackiemom_needsadrinkthulnicollebuhsbaby_baby
    • 601
    • RETWEETS
    thefostererlorigonzalez28boredbeckythulnicolleclarkegriffensScottwB42chungoscrungusThaJabberwock
    WindPushedGrassBruppFWTXserialmatrix
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Congratulate you on losing weight? Maybe when you throw me a parade for never being obese in the first place.

    • 990
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    ruraljulesThe_MartiniGirldrayzzeSarcasticsapienTweetyHatchedSkylerAtriNotYourSoulmatepartlyfunny
    • 378
    • RETWEETS
    drayzzeTweetyHatchedNotYourSoulmatepartlyfunnyfuzzlimeRohitKohli236GrantTanakadarrinfb
    _Shizzle__________Frankie_Valnoogrufus_lipschitz
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    At first I was like "Why isn't my iPad taking pictures?!" but then I was all "Oh this is a cookie sheet." Honest mistake.

    • 939
    • LIKES
    ruraljulesKatyHibdrayzzeLnL245partlyfunnyWindPushedGrasssixfootcandyfuzzlime
    • 425
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    drayzzepartlyfunnyfuzzlimeDiamondLou69WoodyLuvsCoffeedarrinfbNawtyMynxDavesUpdates1
    fuzzlimeJosesLovesYouSmithWitConcernedSirGuyYesThatAmyBlairLoudlyDallyDoll
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    You know what's sexy? Not being a fucking asshole.

    • 856
    • LIKES
    ruraljulesadrenauduhohitscristinaThe_MartiniGirlUgh_NotYoudrayzzeSarcasticsapienCharlie40227151
    • 405
    • RETWEETS
    AStolenDreamlaikenviehmeyerjmecartUgh_NotYoudrayzzeNotYourSoulmateRohitKohli236just1fool
    curlymalloy
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Mom asked what I was laughing at. I said Twitter. She asked how to find my page. This is the same face I had on 9/11.

    • 951
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    ruraljulesdrayzzeNotYourSoulmatepartlyfunnylisaxy424just1foolScott_A_Gilmoredarrinfb
    • 301
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    jmecartdrayzzegotreadgoNotYourSoulmatepartlyfunnyjust1foolScott_A_Gilmoredarrinfb
    JB4RealzDionneMcNuttSoFuckingMature__ilgrandechuckSarcasmo718
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Do you ever get your period and think, well that explains those 30 arguments I started this morning?

    • 758
    • LIKES
    KirstensDeskJohnLyonTweetsuhohitscristinamisssugarquotedThee_manddrayzzeLnL245_v_ee
    • 477
    • RETWEETS
    JohnLyonTweetsdrayzzeKnob_ishNotYourSoulmateHobo_SplendidoWaterLilyDreamsmaisochistmrs_fun
    NotYourSoulmateanother_lisa
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I really live for those first five minutes of a relationship, before the hate sets in.

    • 776
    • LIKES
    ruraljulesashtonraexojlovesthecrewuhohitscristinamisssugarquotedLoneWolfStories__MazharFatikaThe_MartiniGirl
    • 324
    • RETWEETS
    LoneWolfStories__The_MartiniGirldrayzzeDBStonerNotYourSoulmateRohitKohli236darrinfbPatrickKloster
    JosievorenkampwilliamwantonPetey__E__________
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Yeah, keep pissing me off like I haven't been training to clean up a bloody murder scene since my first period...

    • 698
    • LIKES
    ruraljulesdrayzzelacrossemom5staciefl2Hobo_SplendidodarrinfbBruppFWTXJamieGreenlees
    • 335
    • RETWEETS
    staciefl2Hobo_SplendidodarrinfbKhaleddAhmedstoneman67evanR39aympewrlOrignalceQueen
    NotYourSoulmateSpankMeIm0tyDallyDollmisstarafied
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Relationships, because how else will you know how you're failing as a person?

    • 565
    • LIKES
    ruraljulesPoetMonsterxxxWeedlyWaffleCuervoCeltacarcrashescapeAnt_F3ltzHobo_Splendidouhohitscristina
    • 260
    • RETWEETS
    PoetMonsterxxxEAlMansyWeedlyWaffleCuervoCeltanakedlaughingHobo_SplendidoLimeylizzielatermildness
    rossbransondgphotos__________twayne1010
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Why couldn't I have been the hot, tan, Mila Kunis kind of Russian instead of the pale, blocky, 'help me move these trees' kind of Russian?!

    • 542
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    ruraljulesScottBrown1214NotYourSoulmatefunnyfriesdarrinfbBreathe_ttaympewrlOrignalceQueen
    • 156
    • RETWEETS
    NotYourSoulmatefunnyfriesdarrinfbtherealhobocatOrignalceQueenTangledM3ssAGreaterMonster__Lovestained555
    adamrunsfar__
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    If there's a more important decision than picking a towel you won't mind turning into a murder scene for period sex someone please tell me.

    • 547
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    ruraljulesdarrinfbMindless4Milesbamb00zldaympewrlOrignalceQueenChristianPlanteb4sage
    • 120
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    darrinfbMindless4Milesbamb00zldOrignalceQueenohsnapdude__AGreaterMonster__AnkCoupleTOMidlifecrisis18
    Mr_0rang3DanKCharnleyFrankCurtisB
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I can't be the only woman who gets creeped out when she realizes her ovaries sniff out and sync up with other ovaries without her permission

    • 508
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    ruraljulesScottBrown1214NotYourSoulmatedarrinfblecofreshItsMePonyBoyOrignalceQueenChristianPlante
    • 131
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    NotYourSoulmatedarrinfbItsMePonyBoyOrignalceQueenSaveItForFestAnkCoupleTOKeri_shaBigEers
    JustMug
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    This pint of ice cream I ate in one sitting really brings out the natural colors in my loneliness.

    • 457
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    ruraljulesdarrinfbKhaleddAhmedBarbiturateCatPurplepanda1992eefababyTankCesarlecofresh
    • 162
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    darrinfbPurplepanda1992TankCesarfuckingcuntfuckOrignalceQueenGelasticGoGoWindy_Romansandiquote
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Poor bf...guy thinks I can't talk around his dick in my mouth. He's going to hear about my shitty day even if it chokes me.

    • 464
    • LIKES
    ruraljulesdarrinfbKhaleddAhmedBreathe_ttTankCesarKissabiXOrignalceQueenmostillusive
    • 131
    • RETWEETS
    darrinfbTankCesarKissabiXOrignalceQueenAGreaterMonster__itsmetrbMidlifecrisis18versace_sheets
    BillArrundalePretzelNY
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Ate a whole box of donuts. But I ate them *really* fast so hopefully that counts as a workout and balances out the calories.

    • 409
    • LIKES
    ruraljulesRdrJay47RohitKohli236darrinfbTankCesarOrignalceQueenChristianPlanteScott_A_Gilmore
    • 168
    • RETWEETS
    RdrJay47RohitKohli236darrinfbTankCesarOrignalceQueenScott_A_Gilmorezoofstera_olivia4212
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    The other day bf kissed me softly, looked in my eyes & asked why my tampon wasn't out yet. Sorry ladies, guess I got the last romantic one.

    • 474
    • LIKES
    ruraljulesdarrinfbTankCesarOrignalceQueenTheGladStorkChristianPlantescoccarofuddlemark
    • 100
    • RETWEETS
    darrinfbTankCesarOrignalceQueenMidlifecrisis18leahlovescheezblaha_WhoAGreaterMonster__Cage_unlocked
    giantsshirt______
@Sirrruh

@Sirrruh

Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday #NotMeUs IG: pandabearjournal

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