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  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Gift @Sirrruh Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 1,509
    • LIKES
    fuzzlimeRohitKohli236UnderchildeBruppFWTXScott_A_GilmoreMothpetestoneman67aympewrl
    • 957
    • RETWEETS
    fuzzlimeRohitKohli236Was_I_invertedUnderchildeScott_A_Gilmorecmy1013stoneman67OrignalceQueen
    ericonederfulhowe007williamwantonlakeanagirlABurgerADayArroiaabrosenthalgiantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    McDonalds sweet & sour sauce is just the blood of the obese diabetic children who got stuck in the play place.

    • 1,444
    • LIKES
    fuzzlimeBenjaw1ndarrinfbBruppFWTXBreathe_ttJamieGreenleesMothpetestoneman67
    • 874
    • RETWEETS
    Benjaw1ndarrinfbBreathe_ttcmy1013stoneman67TankCesarOrignalceQueencatsmeow_345
    JSLauderdaleRedright_88OfficeofSteveJustMugPostedandBeamedupsheezy__________XalqeeConcernedSirGuyGrashof_RockerSTOTLE
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My vagina is so stubbly it looks like its been up all night solving crime.

    • 1,221
    • LIKES
    fuzzlimesharky54301RohitKohli236mjkspeaksBenjaw1ndarrinfbInsomniac_MedicAudreyPorne
    • 576
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    RohitKohli236mjkspeaksBenjaw1ndarrinfbjust1fooltwiztidyournutzpon_keyBrown53youjustsaycc
    LackOfShameericonederfulVodkantotsabhorrent_wifeSilleVioLisabug74JoshuaHvr
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My ex wanted me to pour this sugar in his gas tank. He didn't say it like that. The actual text said "fuck you whore" but I got the message.

    • 1,107
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    fuzzlimemjkspeaksChumpstringdarrinfbInsomniac_MedicNawtyMynxjust1foolkelseyraex2
    • 611
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    Was_I_invertedmjkspeaksdarrinfbInsomniac_MedicNawtyMynxjust1foolKhaleddAhmedstoneman67
    OrignalceQueenthatguysinghDaddyJewdeathtoscumbagsJustMugPazerLenis
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    At first I was like "Why isn't my iPad taking pictures?!" but then I was all "Oh this is a cookie sheet." Honest mistake.

    • 933
    • LIKES
    sixfootcandyfuzzlimeDiamondLou69m0mjawnWoodyLuvsCoffeeChumpstringdarrinfbInsomniac_Medic
    • 423
    • RETWEETS
    fuzzlimeDiamondLou69WoodyLuvsCoffeedarrinfbNawtyMynxDavesUpdates1LorenzLorenzj94wickedsuga
    fuzzlimeJosesLovesYouSmithWitConcernedSirGuyYesThatAmyBlairLoudlyDallyDoll
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Congratulate you on losing weight? Maybe when you throw me a parade for never being obese in the first place.

    • 982
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    fuzzlimeRohitKohli236GrantTanakadarrinfbjust1foolKhaleddAhmedBruppFWTXstoneman67
    • 374
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    fuzzlimeRohitKohli236GrantTanakadarrinfbjust1foolstoneman67TankCesarOrignalceQueen
    _Shizzle__________Frankie_Valnoogrufus_lipschitz
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Christians talk about jesus coming back like he's a dad who left for cigarettes when they were younger.

    • 861
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    nraymzMAZ_DYSawnia_MrickmaitraHalleeMarieDocsthenameK2togetherSSKOffensive_Jerk
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    rickmaitraRellBlkgtshoumikitikiOffensive_JerkTripleFlip66allie_caputoTheRealDCF0uttripped
    BruppFWTXserialmatrix
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    You know what's sexy? Not being a fucking asshole.

    • 845
    • LIKES
    RohitKohli236just1foolChumpstringdarrinfbJamieGreenleesDeniseWalker81muffyd34vrnlngnckr
    • 399
    • RETWEETS
    RohitKohli236just1fooldarrinfbLaHagelastoneman67OrignalceQueenChristianPlanteTangledM3ss
    curlymalloy
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Mom asked what I was laughing at. I said Twitter. She asked how to find my page. This is the same face I had on 9/11.

    • 947
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    lisaxy424just1foolScott_A_GilmoredarrinfbKhaleddAhmedJamieGreenleesstoneman67OrignalceQueen
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    • RETWEETS
    just1foolScott_A_Gilmoredarrinfbstoneman67OrignalceQueenTangledM3ssJohnKlimasItsMePonyBoy
    JB4RealzDionneMcNuttSoFuckingMature__ilgrandechuckSarcasmo718
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Do you ever get your period and think, well that explains those 30 arguments I started this morning?

    • 747
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    sltslanisocheleStrawdocberriesHobo_SplendidoShipInTheKnightdrunknerdproCrooow1seamussaid
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    • RETWEETS
    Hobo_SplendidoWaterLilyDreamsmaisochistmrs_funShipInTheKnight_MrsBlueBird___Crooow1morexanaxplease
    another_lisa
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I really live for those first five minutes of a relationship, before the hate sets in.

    • 762
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    RohitKohli236darrinfbJamieGreenleesDeniseWalker81stoneman67OrignalceQueen3sunzzzFancyNancyAnn
    • 319
    • RETWEETS
    RohitKohli236darrinfbPatrickKlosterJamieGreenleesstoneman67OrignalceQueenrmoultoncapitaljim_highlander
    JosievorenkampwilliamwantonPetey__E__________
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Yeah, keep pissing me off like I haven't been training to clean up a bloody murder scene since my first period...

    • 693
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    darrinfbBruppFWTXJamieGreenleesstoneman67aympewrlOrignalceQueenTheGladStorkChristianPlante
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    darrinfbKhaleddAhmedstoneman67evanR39aympewrlOrignalceQueenTangledM3ssjosephsalazar68__
    NotYourSoulmateSpankMeIm0tyDallyDollmisstarafied
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Relationships, because how else will you know how you're failing as a person?

    • 548
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    RohitKohli236darrinfbBruppFWTXBreathe_ttstoneman67Purpledove711OrignalceQueenDestineyLynn
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    RohitKohli236darrinfbstoneman67Purpledove711OrignalceQueennodramaheaDrmhausLifeJohnBechard
    rossbransondgphotos__________twayne1010
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Why couldn't I have been the hot, tan, Mila Kunis kind of Russian instead of the pale, blocky, 'help me move these trees' kind of Russian?!

    • 539
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    funnyfriesdarrinfbBreathe_ttaympewrlOrignalceQueenTheGladStorkloudmouth_usaAGreaterMonster
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    funnyfriesdarrinfbtherealhobocatOrignalceQueenTangledM3ssAGreaterMonsterLovestained555howe007
    adamrunsfar__
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    If there's a more important decision than picking a towel you won't mind turning into a murder scene for period sex someone please tell me.

    • 546
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    darrinfbMindless4Milesbamb00zldaympewrlOrignalceQueenChristianPlanteb4sageohsnapdude__
    • 120
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    darrinfbMindless4Milesbamb00zldOrignalceQueenohsnapdude__AGreaterMonsterAnkCoupleTOMidlifecrisis18
    Mr_0rang3DanKCharnleyFrankCurtisB
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I can't be the only woman who gets creeped out when she realizes her ovaries sniff out and sync up with other ovaries without her permission

    • 505
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    darrinfblecofreshItsMePonyBoyOrignalceQueenChristianPlanteAnkCoupleTOvalerie_tosiscoccaro
    • 130
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    darrinfbItsMePonyBoyOrignalceQueenSaveItForFestAnkCoupleTOKeri_shaBigEersSpokeAna
    JustMug
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    This pint of ice cream I ate in one sitting really brings out the natural colors in my loneliness.

    • 456
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    darrinfbKhaleddAhmedBarbiturateCatPurplepanda1992eefababyTankCesarlecofreshSetagayaGirl
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    darrinfbPurplepanda1992TankCesarfuckingcuntfuckOrignalceQueenGelasticGoGoWindy_Romansandiquote
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Poor bf...guy thinks I can't talk around his dick in my mouth. He's going to hear about my shitty day even if it chokes me.

    • 463
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    darrinfbKhaleddAhmedBreathe_ttTankCesarKissabiXOrignalceQueenmostillusiveChristianPlante
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    darrinfbTankCesarKissabiXOrignalceQueenAGreaterMonsteritsmetrbMidlifecrisis18versace_sheets
    BillArrundalePretzelNY
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Ate a whole box of donuts. But I ate them *really* fast so hopefully that counts as a workout and balances out the calories.

    • 407
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    RohitKohli236darrinfbTankCesarOrignalceQueenChristianPlanteScott_A_Gilmorescoccarofuddlemark
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    RohitKohli236darrinfbTankCesarOrignalceQueenScott_A_Gilmorezoofstera_olivia4212dad_space
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    The other day bf kissed me softly, looked in my eyes & asked why my tampon wasn't out yet. Sorry ladies, guess I got the last romantic one.

    • 473
    • LIKES
    darrinfbTankCesarOrignalceQueenTheGladStorkChristianPlantescoccarofuddlemarkAggregateArgot
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    darrinfbTankCesarOrignalceQueenMidlifecrisis18leahlovescheezblaha_WhoAGreaterMonsterCage_unlocked
    giantsshirt______
@Sirrruh

@Sirrruh

Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday #NotMeUs

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