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  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    McDonalds sweet & sour sauce is just the blood of the obese diabetic children who got stuck in the play place.

    • 1,156
    • FAVS
    _Just_Beachy_Doug3P0djr_102caseytduncanAus_CJjcs527HaneyRickyready_SETTE_CO
    • 682
    • RETWEETS
    djr_102jcs527RebeccaMohessCanadianMclovinDarkTallBastardzachv86CassandrasJackvikkaroni
    Redright_88OfficeofSteveJustMugPostedandBeamedupsheezy__________XalqeeConcernedSirGuyGrashof_RockerSTOTLE
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.

    • 1,079
    • FAVS
    jcs527martinfabrizio2keriquattlebaumCanadianMclovinKWQuacksThe_MartiniGirlDarkTallBastardzachv86
    • 593
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncantyrahdeejcs527CanadianMclovinKWQuacksGeauxSaints79DarkTallBastardFleeBiscuit
    lakeanagirlABurgerADayArroiaabrosenthalgiantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Congratulate you on losing weight? Maybe when you throw me a parade for never being obese in the first place.

    • 877
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinbluemelody84hadafewbeersediable_arsenicvikkaroniDearAbbySimonHobo_SplendidoMr_Kapowski
    • 320
    • RETWEETS
    hadafewbeersDearAbbySimonRebelDomesticHobo_SplendidoSpaced_Cowboy00MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadyOkieGirl405
    _Shizzle__________Frankie_Valnoogrufus_lipschitz
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My ex wanted me to pour this sugar in his gas tank. He didn't say it like that. The actual text said "fuck you whore" but I got the message.

    • 758
    • FAVS
    NotThatNixonmichelea2204caseytduncanbigpapa_1969laicis_plecisAus_CJembrock05luvmyADHD
    • 438
    • RETWEETS
    michelea2204RazorgirlxcaseytduncantyrahdeeluvmyADHDJadlard17charrrllaa_SomeWhiteBitch
    DaddyJewdeathtoscumbagsJustMugPazerLenis
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    At first I was like "Why isn't my iPad taking pictures?!" but then I was all "Oh this is a cookie sheet." Honest mistake.

    • 804
    • FAVS
    lmcmann4RTQueen22bartholomew_dcaseytduncanAus_CJbitch_o_maticbeersudsCanadianMclovin
    • 337
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanCanadianMclovinhadafewbeersediable_arsenicfavstar_historydeviledlegsSpaced_Cowboy00michaelpath
    JosesLovesYouSmithWitConcernedSirGuyYesThatAmyBlairLoudlyDallyDoll
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Mom asked what I was laughing at. I said Twitter. She asked how to find my page. This is the same face I had on 9/11.

    • 861
    • FAVS
    caseytduncanCanadianMclovinEvaMcL3zachv86hadafewbeersediable_arsenicbuzcutsMr_Kapowski
    • 253
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanGeauxSaints79buzcutsluvmyADHDnientiquiGinGanderGanderGinNuriwana_
    JB_4_RealzDionneMcNuttSoFuckingMature__ilgrandechuckSarcasmo718
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    You know what's sexy? Not being a fucking asshole.

    • 751
    • FAVS
    mama_mindy99PetrickSaramichelea2204Sunluver26amandajpandadirtgirl1VodkaTiemMar_sBars
    • 342
    • RETWEETS
    TiffAnyDsouzAravingrantdirtgirl1VodkaTiemcaseytduncantmeckeschickenNiinjaitsalluncharted
    curlymalloy
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    My vagina is so stubbly it looks like its been up all night solving crime.

    • 668
    • FAVS
    aimi_no_regretsSerialFuckupindelibleMJkelliczarnecki1dirtydeedRubberGlueFUJacobSnakeholeNeon_Dragon
    • 292
    • RETWEETS
    aimi_no_regretsbullitt6454kelliczarneckiRubberGlueFUJacobSnakeholeNeon_DragonBeamishBoiPsychoAmerican
    SilleVioLisabug74JoshuaHvr
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Yeah, keep pissing me off like I haven't been training to clean up a bloody murder scene since my first period...

    • 583
    • FAVS
    caseytduncanCanadianMclovinhadafewbeersSamInspiredediable_arsenicscottdedalusLauraPalmer198madithomas530
    • 271
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanSamInspiredediable_arsenicLauraPalmer198Mr_KapowskijaredpriceMcCutty1AnkitTripathi5
    SpankMeIm0tyDallyDollmisstarafied
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I really live for those first five minutes of a relationship, before the hate sets in.

    • 605
    • FAVS
    Mar_sBarscaseytduncanCanadianMclovinhadafewbeersediable_arsenicMr_KapowskiJB_4_Realzaprilmaywilson
    • 211
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanpradogodwilliamwantonPoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadyTheTalkingPipe__
    williamwantonPetey__E__________
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Do you ever get your period and think, well that explains those 30 arguments I started this morning?

    • 483
    • FAVS
    p1antchildADudeNamedJamie_SmilingHeart_Mar_sBarsMarissaBenniCanadianMclovinSamDelanchehadafewbeers
    • 277
    • RETWEETS
    MarissaBennicaseytduncanIIArmstrongAnnMitchellMcDsneezy20340967heartlessliejjgraperina_maReena
    another_lisa
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Relationships, because how else will you know how you're failing as a person?

    • 439
    • FAVS
    Mar_sBarsdirtyxbeanerBlackCheesePiecaseytduncanSamDelanchezachv86hadafewbeersediable_arsenic
    • 182
    • RETWEETS
    dirtyxbeanercaseytduncanzachv86Chaos10112ndCitySaintphobophilewilliamwantonPoiznSongbird
    rossbransondgphotos__________twayne1010
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    If there's a more important decision than picking a towel you won't mind turning into a murder scene for period sex someone please tell me.

    • 509
    • FAVS
    BlackCheesePiecaseytduncanCanadianMclovinhadafewbeersediable_arsenicClintPounderMr_KapowskiJB_4_Realz
    • 104
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanMr_KapowskiMalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadypseudo_fredAJ_VanFossensharkies3TlaxBoy05
    Mr_0rang3DanKCharnleyFrankCurtisB
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Why couldn't I have been the hot, tan, Mila Kunis kind of Russian instead of the pale, blocky, 'help me move these trees' kind of Russian?!

    • 478
    • FAVS
    irvin_bonniethatspicegirlcaseytduncanMadlenSporledermartinfabrizio2fitforlife00doovusallthingspoetic
    • 129
    • RETWEETS
    14ATXcaseytduncandoovusCanadianMclovinFruit_Slingerjohngayseekevindividual__PoiznSongbird
    adamrunsfar
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I can't be the only woman who gets creeped out when she realizes her ovaries sniff out and sync up with other ovaries without her permission

    • 468
    • FAVS
    irvin_bonnieLeeLuvYogacaseytduncanCanadianMclovinhadafewbeersediable_arsenicStacy_Face81erin4091
    • 116
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanerin4091raycholebunnyBrookeFHaney_Mr_KapowskijaredpriceMcCutty1dreamthievin
    JustMug
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    This pint of ice cream I ate in one sitting really brings out the natural colors in my loneliness.

    • 410
    • FAVS
    PetrickSaramichelea2204Mar_sBarsLeeLuvYogacaseytduncanCanadianMclovinmtgunderdaniel_frijoles
    • 145
    • RETWEETS
    14ATXcaseytduncanSamDelanchePoiznSongbirdMalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLadypseudo_fred
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    The other day bf kissed me softly, looked in my eyes & asked why my tampon wasn't out yet. Sorry ladies, guess I got the last romantic one.

    • 445
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinhadafewbeersediable_arsenicMr_KapowskikaydahliaMalcInYourWifeMythicalCrystalTheCattyLady
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    MalcInYourWifeTheCattyLadypseudo_fredfavstar_historyAJ_VanFossenbaliska2sharkies3TlaxBoy05
    giantsshirt______
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Poor bf...guy thinks I can't talk around his dick in my mouth. He's going to hear about my shitty day even if it chokes me.

    • 414
    • FAVS
    hearsegirlcaseytduncanCanadianMclovinhadafewbeersediable_arsenicJaqdiRassoollikearock3588lizzyboger
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    hearsegirlcaseytduncanediable_arsenicYourWorship_mostillusiveissabeelleeLengsanity1Mr_Kapowski
    BillArrundalePretzelNY
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Ate a whole box of donuts. But I ate them *really* fast so hopefully that counts as a workout and balances out the calories.

    • 370
    • FAVS
    Tulipsofminecaseytduncanbooyahchadlyallthingspoeticready_SETTE_CObuck4ittCanadianMclovinhadafewbeers
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanSophiieMallardmelanieobrien_CanadianMclovinCuriousMsMegDuchessAlisonkevindividual__amont8
    HysteriaBarbie
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    I like people who use song lyrics at the end of their FB posts. It lets me know they're sensitive and about to be deleted of my friend list.

    • 413
    • FAVS
    14ATXJustUnstableMecaseytduncanCanadianMclovinhadafewbeersediable_arsenicMr_KapowskiPoiznSongbird
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanPoiznSongbirdTheCattyLadyTlaxBoy05AJ_VanFossensharkies3lucidchemistryrickkondell
    KimJungilSpirit__
@Sirrruh

@Sirrruh

Stand up comedian at local bus stops and contributing columnist to any public bathroom stall I walk into. http://t.co/eC7ETDUKQq

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