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I want to live in a world where Hans Zimmer just follows me around with a small orchestra on wheels, performing a soundtrack to my life.
Obviously Christopher Nolan's zombie movie stars Christian Bale, JGL and Tom Hardy and one of the zombies is someone's dead wife.
Dave Dave Dave even your hair looks smug. #parliament
Batman, you have a ladybutt.
STAR TREEEEEK *RENDS GARMENTS. ALL GARMENTS*
Radical idea: how about a female character on Dr Who who ISN'T attracted to the Doctor?? #itscrazyiknow
God I hate brushing my teeth. THE PHYSICAL ACT OF IT. Why can't my teeth just cleanse themselves?
Opened fridge to be greeted by a meringue twice the size of my FACE. Today will be a good day.
Bash keybored until wurds fall out good.
I don't want to live in a world where I have to read everything in times new roman.
/angrily eating a sandwich
My favourite thing about black bras is how it makes it look as if my chest is wearing really aggressive shades. #thoughtfortheday
The sun has been out for all of 5 seconds and I can hear an ice cream van jingle. What an optimistic ice cream man you are.
The Inception soundtrack is the perfect music for making every mundane thing you do feel incredibly important.
Otters Who Look Like Benedict Cumberbatch is trending. I am so happy to be a part of the internet today.
... Amazon, WHY are you recommending me Bruce Springsteen?
Spent last night rolling miserably around in my bed hissing FUCK MY GENITALS
How did I live before wikipedia? I'm so lost and confused.