Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Wait, what happened to the old black?
Make a nice hot coffee, check twitter, drink nasty cold stale coffee.
What is it about knowing you'll be home alone for more than ten minutes that gives a person the urge to masturbate?
I told her: facebook links you to people you know. Twitter links you to people you like.
A typo is an accidental error, a simple mis-stroke. Your catastrophic fuck-ups are not typos.
I may never come to terms with not being able to read ALL your tweets.
Was going to write something incredibly witty on FB, then realised they wouldn't understand it and so here I am with you lot again.
Wish I was a kid again. Not having regrets or feeling old, I just want someone to pay me for doing my fucking housework.
Oh dear god I miss drugs.
A boy I used to baby-sit has become a father and no I don't feel old I feel ancient!
Listening to this guy talk about 'surwiwal' and the 'uniwerse' and the nature of 'ewil' on the radio. Best. Show. Ever.
I fucking hate people who have their phone conversation right near you, like you care. Yes, you, mum.
Ah twitter. Porn, zen, young love, celebrity obsession, news, science, poetry, spam, complete fools and signs of intelligence... I love you.
No, I don't wish you any harm. I hope you die peacefully, in your sleep. Tonight. Tomorrow at the latest.
Any minute now I'm going to get off here and in do something real. Like take a shower. Any minute now.
Wish there was a truck stop near here because I would fuck just about anyone for a ride out of town right now.
If I don't stop eating now, by tonight I will be morbidly obese.
The only reason I go to facebook anymore is so they don't know I'm coming here.
Thought my phone vibrated but no, instead I was visited by a bumblebee the size of my fucking thumb. Yikes.
Said I was going to bed early to read. If that implied book I'm sorry, but let's be real here. It was always going to be twitter.