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How to please a woman:
1) Eat out
2) Pull out
3) Get the fuck out
Everyone should thank me cuz I'm making Santa come and blow his load.
Sometimes just good conversation is foreplay. Sometimes cuddling. Ah, fuck, it's been so long for most of us, breathing will do.
Give me sex for the things that I can change and give me a gun to accept the things that I can't.
Definition of talent show: When your technique in the bedroom renders him useless and he happens to be videoing your performance.
Role play: You be the wood. I'll be the cutter.
Someone once said I was a "twisted fuck"
My response was, "Being flexible is a good thing."
Don't confuse the road less travelled because we don't need confused roads.
My cuntclusion is cuntcrete. I'm cuntstipated.
Straightjackets required. No corners allowed. Love bouncing!