Wish I could put my whole fucking house in the washing machine. Big thanks to the funny @_wangwe for the TotD. It's on spin cycle right now.

The only time I swallow is when I open my mouth & my fucking mother comes out.

First drive-in of the year. Gotta fucking love it!

Thanks for the FF# love @littlemaclarge @durochermaxime and @blumoody

@theblessmess and because I love you, I'll teach you how to do it. It's great for the biceps as well! Win-win! <3

I'm smart even without using my ass.

Happiness is that special someone who looks at you a certain way and you can't help but smile.

Thanks for the #FF love @dougie2203 @normmynorm @cityrider49 @morgansphoenix @heatherjs @ctrabs8729 @kevin_mcvan

Fuck is my response to everything today.........and I don't mean verbally.

Men must be so shocked with they give them a finger and they take the whole hand. Guess that's when they realize she's been around a lot.

Let's get this party started and get the darling @tamytoo2 to 11,000! I love her and you will too cuz I said so.

Big thanks to @dudeimshawn for the TotD. Mucho appreciated. The cup will be filled with bleach. Form the line to the right.

If love was really blind, there wouldn't be so many ugly single people. Big thanks to THE amazing @robyn_vo for the TotD. I love you, woman

I think some women like when a man fucks up while making love. Then they can make them do it over and over again until they get it right.

@pan_duh You're the sweetest girl in the world. Love you! xoxo

Yesterday, sore boobs. Today, sore crotch. My body must be practicing to be a dead fuck.

When you're feeling your worst & you think you're the ugliest you've ever been.......and he makes you feel sexy.......he's a fucking keeper.

I love coming home to you guys.

Big thanks to the fantastic @ericgoldie for the TotD. I'm going to use it as a picnic basket. xo

Perfect day to lay a blanket out in the sun, open a picnic basket, lay out all the food & then fuck your brains out.