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Love is.....being there even when you'd rather be somewhere else.
Men: If your lady calls you, invites you over and says, "BYOB....that's code for "Bring your own bib."
You're in for a slurping good time.
If a man ever gives you roses in lieu of his infidelities, use the stem of the roses to wrap around his dick.
Sweet smelling barbed wire.
Some things can be obtained if you dress for it.
All can be obtained if you undress for it.
If you believe that shit, smack yourself for me.
Mens' bodies should've been made in such a way that, if they aren't capable of bringing a woman to orgasm, they wouldn't achieve one either.
Work is keeping me away from Twitter. It's just like my Mom and it's screaming, "No, she CANNOT come out and fucking play!!"
I'll be the ache in your heart,
the voice in your head,
the face you can't forget
the memory that repeats.
You'll never feel complete.
My sex drive keeps pulling into the handicapped parking spaces.
Voted best job: Nymphomaniac Prostitute
1) Non-stop sex
2) Get to stay in bed all day & night
3) No pants!
4) Monday's don't suck
Places you have to leave your bag outside:
1) High end stores
2) Men Only Clubs
Straightjackets required. No corners allowed. Love bouncing!