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  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Laughter is the soap...for all the crap life throws at you.

    • 567
    • FAVS
    green_eyed_dolllolaem25BigTopFamilyLaidirgodeoJAMMIN_87jteezy77althenehythemafia
    • 344
    • RETWEETS
    skellmcdSithembisoMyeniBigTopFamilyjteezy77Monte165HipHopMatrixhythemafiaAnnoyedGruntx
    llvvzzhoneybadgerMelTinkerbell_chopper4jkDi_Anonymously____
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Since the divorce, the only pick-up line I can think of is, “Would you consider yourself a litigious person?”

    • 566
    • FAVS
    LuvPugstupenduToxicProbablyaskusePerksOfABiatchHoffmanJimi5150jsokolparupaaj
    • 213
    • RETWEETS
    Bears09fanBlondAmbitionTOFUNNAGANritcorpparupaajAcademmissionsuziqkelleybatsflywest
    BwanaChrisLakeoconeebldr____CroweJamShazzaLMSupportPets_calvoquinn
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Laughter between lovers is the best foreplay.

    • 437
    • FAVS
    SSparklesDailyBlondAmbitionTOleikubNerduckenmellimellejkramblesAntoinetteBBachkerriejaynelove
    • 238
    • RETWEETS
    leikubmellimelledmvicianbreatheandloveblonderzzskg2345GomersallAmyasianlizard
    SupportPets_Di_Anonymously____
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    If my GF gets any crankier, I may be forced to light that fuse on her tampon.

    • 261
    • FAVS
    Tinkerbell_BlondAmbitionTOfletchworld73leikubmellimellebreatheandloveALadiesHeartblaha_Who
    • 105
    • RETWEETS
    ALadiesHeartblaha_Whobenittto8iyaelsoraiFavstar250TreacleVerityILove_VenomGinGander
    SilleVioTorriableMr_goose007
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c'mon...even I've done THAT!"

    • 255
    • FAVS
    BlondAmbitionTOfletchworld73leikubmellimellebreatheandloveLilBlackRncloudMikeFrazier52s_sharon68
    • 109
    • RETWEETS
    mellimellebenittto9Favstar250ALadiesHeartblaha_WhoMaryCheney1_Bad_KarmaBwanaChris
    fixyourcompassWhosTheresazgbetty
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    When I can't think of anything to write, I tend to just copy off of the Asian guy tweeting in front of me

    • 233
    • FAVS
    leikubmellimellebreatheandloveLilBlackRncloudALadiesHeartJohnnykool1JimmerThatisAllJohnBechard
    • 73
    • RETWEETS
    Johnnykool1JimmerThatisAllJohnBechardBrowneyed_mamaAbfableeTheAlexNevilUninsprdRTrpsyzod
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    I dream now of Avi`s, not RL women, & I'm grateful for it. An epiphany of sorts to finally realize the sexiest part of a woman is her words

    • 217
    • FAVS
    parupaajfletchworld73leikubmellimellebreatheandloveLilBlackRncloudSeemiSadiaALadiesHeart
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    SeemiSadiaALadiesHeartJimmerThatisAllEuphonicMusingsPhantasticFruitBwanaChrissuzebittersweetsum_fkn_cunt
    GHCanada__________Wussawilla________
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Still getting used to this Twitter thing. Didn't mean to sign up for this...I was just trying to order sea monkeys.

    • 198
    • FAVS
    Tinkerbell_SSparklesDailyleikubCheeseboy22MichaelF317TlaxBoy05all_about_todaymellimelle
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    MichaelF317amycook1939TlaxBoy05GinGanderGanderGinDarren_MirandaStacyE64UrbanHighlander
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    In these lean times, instead of buying a GPS...I hired a homeless guy with a map to sit in the back-seat.

    • 189
    • FAVS
    Rasbanda_ManololizzurdBlondAmbitionTOleikubMichaelF317TlaxBoy05mellimellebreatheandlove
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    Rasbanda_ManoloBlondAmbitionTOTlaxBoy05Peach_Tea58HpHubertALadiesHeartuginm102BwanaChris
    piplipsSupportPets_
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    I hate it when I catch my neighbor peering at me through the window...especially when I thought I was so well hidden in the bushes.

    • 155
    • FAVS
    parupaajfletchworld73Cheeseboy22TlaxBoy05JLazySAngusmellimellebreatheandloveALadiesHeart
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05mellimellecristicremesethswaggertyJimmerThatisAllTheAlexNevilfixyourcompassDoreeOhhhh
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Clearly (& happily) suffering from what I call the "Twitter Effect," when I realized I now admire women more for their wits, than their tits

    • 146
    • FAVS
    SSparklesDailyfletchworld73leikubbreatheandloveblaha_WhoEuphonicMusingsBwanaChrisfixyourcompass
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    blaha_WhoMasterOfFuryAlexCarlsbadkollinsayzGingerGanderSaraESpiveyrachelb1281MykeLeTauris
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    I can only guess that whoever said, ''If you love something, set it free...'' lived a lonely life. If you love someone, fight to keep them.

    • 119
    • FAVS
    parupaajbreatheandlovefixyourcompassSapphireBel_MrsBlueBird_SoulSistaSugarginger_xtcMasterOfFury
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    ginger_xtcdmutatiShotteeM____MissCheezefallenfrompramsCaliKid101MissRUddinHabzyMaleySuley
    Di_Anonymously____
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    My Twitter crush drove 30 hrs for us to be together.A friend is crossing an ocean for her Twitter love. Twitter's pimp hand is international

    • 117
    • FAVS
    JagerMouthWaterGirlFLAashlar36NonziiPonziinaughty_poetlilmissquiHorribleDancerbelle_n_bama
    • 42
    • RETWEETS
    iBLOOdyNONSENSEbelle_n_bamaparupaajLipLush1AppleFalconioDawn_M_omgrab____________SaraESpivey
    Tinkerbell_
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Whatever doesn't kill you, makes...me re-strategize

    • 111
    • FAVS
    breatheandloveLisaMcAlister1__TheAlexNevil_msnemofixyourcompasslegrant101WildeThingySapphireBel
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    JurassicPattTheAlexNevillegrant101SapphireBelModerateBenderginger_xtcRichard_KeepMasterOfFury
    JustCallMeFrank
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    I couldn't count the number of times the “mood” has been ruined by my dates asking, “Shouldn’t you put some ointment on that?”

    • 116
    • FAVS
    leikubbreatheandloveblaha_WhofixyourcompassSapphireBelMasterOfFuryAppleFalconioTheBeerGuy73
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    blaha_WhoSaraESpiveyrachelb1281favstar1000favsbrownpoopypantsjasonlight73robyn_voFavstar500Favs
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    As I stand here alone in the cold,in the dead of night,looking up at the stars,I ask myself the age old question..why am I not getting laid?

    • 93
    • FAVS
    breatheandlovefixyourcompassSapphireBelMasterOfFurycrston8squirrel74wkgnTheBeerGuy73life_sucker
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    omgrab____________SaraESpiveyrachelb1281DickHerterWorptWords________wheresmystarr____Bathing_in_Sin____Di_Anonymously____
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Off to have sex...so you know, back in 3 minutes. Well, maybe 4...she might ask me to open a new pack of batteries before I leave *sigh*

    • 98
    • FAVS
    leikubbreatheandloveKause187ShipInTheKnightChloestylofarleftcoastCrazy8s_Tinkerbell_
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    ginger_xtcSaraESpiveyrachelb1281brownpoopypantsoldmanwntrmzkellyeagle__RitiFavstar_NSFW
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    No joke: spent entire day alone, watching “Sleepless In Seattle“, “P.S. I Love You” and “Love Actually”…my penis has fully retracted.

    • 104
    • FAVS
    breatheandloveSapphireBelcraiguitoginger_xtcshylah01MasterOfFuryjwalkonthemoonWine_Plz
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    ginger_xtcomgrab____________SaraESpiveyrachelb1281PhilLaysheOjasonlight73Favstar_NSFWpiplips
    SupportPets_
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    I guess my marriage was destined to fail...the night of our engagement, I also proposed to her sister, her Dad and a bottle of Jack Daniels

    • 96
    • FAVS
    breatheandlovefixyourcompassSapphireBelginger_xtcMasterOfFuryTheBeerGuy73TINY_TOESIES______sociablemonkey
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    life_suckervodkachromeomgrab____________SaraESpiveyrachelb1281Fallun_Angel__SolelyBstephaniesword0
    calvoquinn
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Assumption is nine-tenths of the flaw.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    roostershankTinkerbell_TBCITDG77RavenpixiwhyneandcheezMarkAFuqua_Huntnayomeewallaceclean_not_sober
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    APogoreskiGiverney666wantyoutoo14TBCITDG77Ireland_BeckonsRavenpixiMarkAFuqua_HuntALadiesHeart
@smirkykev

@smirkykev

My daughter's father. Laughter is the soap for all the crap life throws at you.