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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Gift @smirkykev Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 600
    • FAVS
    zolofighterella__fraserblaha_WhoSureshMKotharikwirkyKerridreamsinchocolaLHaveralegigipicola__
    • 378
    • RETWEETS
    ella__fraserblaha_WhoHemalOjhaSureshMKotharivllxoSSparklesDailyAadinOfficialiWairera
    llvvzzhoneybadgerMelTinkerbell_chopper4jkDi_Anonymously____
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Since the divorce, the only pick-up line I can think of is, “Would you consider yourself a litigious person?”

    • 603
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    sssh_squirrelhippocroteezDONTJIMMYMEJULZblaha_WhoBlue_Plus_Greensweetg35itsmetrbkwirkyKerri
    • 237
    • RETWEETS
    hippocroteezDONTJIMMYMEJULZjenurquharttherblaha_WhoSolelyBAadinOfficialnotmargot663miloefel
    BwanaChrisLakeoconeebldr____CroweJamShazzaLMSupportPets_calvoquinn
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Laughter between lovers is the best foreplay.

    • 467
    • FAVS
    hippocroteezDONTJIMMYMEJULZblaha_Whosweetg35Maui_SpeaksImTheSheriffVirgoSherrykwirkyKerri
    • 260
    • RETWEETS
    surkhabaftabblaha_WhoAadinOfficialBadApple2311kwirkyKerrismion32014AskAuntieEm1LeagueofNope
    SupportPets_Di_Anonymously____
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c'mon...even I've done THAT!"

    • 306
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    hippocroteezDONTJIMMYMEJULZlinanneblacksweetg35kwirkyKerriechostweetsMaui_Speaksscreammsayonara
    • 147
    • RETWEETS
    BlondAmbitionTOlynnemmansSolelyBSnackGurl_sarah_nelson_FrenchTiklaAadinOfficialmarkthomas1967
    fixyourcompassWhosTheresazgbetty
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    If my GF gets any crankier, I may be forced to light that fuse on her tampon.

    • 284
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    hippocroteezDONTJIMMYMEJULZsweetg35kwirkyKerrismion32014x_xaimafirme_latinajps_xox
    • 119
    • RETWEETS
    FrenchTiklaAadinOfficialkwirkyKerriCrooow1KireiOniTampaNarwhalitsmetrbKimgee8
    SilleVioTorriableMr_goose007
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    When I can't think of anything to write, I tend to just copy off of the Asian guy tweeting in front of me

    • 271
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    DONTJIMMYMEJULZBlondAmbitionTOsweetg35Maui_SpeakskwirkyKerrix_xaimafirme_latinashalucas65
    • 88
    • RETWEETS
    AadinOfficialkwirkyKerriKimgee8roy_choudhurygirl_a_whirlAnonysub_theigirlbenittto6
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    I dream now of Avi`s, not RL women, & I'm grateful for it. An epiphany of sorts to finally realize the sexiest part of a woman is her words

    • 233
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    hippocroteezDONTJIMMYMEJULZBlondAmbitionTOkwirkyKerrix_xaimakennethwabiriaroxaroodwonlygirlwolfpak
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    SSparklesDailyAadinOfficialkwirkyKerrismion32014kennethwabiriaonlygirlwolfpakheatherlou_Kimgee8
    GHCanada__________Wussawilla________
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Still getting used to this Twitter thing. Didn't mean to sign up for this...I was just trying to order sea monkeys.

    • 215
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    hippocroteezDONTJIMMYMEJULZBlondAmbitionTOCyd10eKirstensDeskMaui_Speaksnaughtywriter2kwirkyKerri
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    Cyd10eSledgeHamerlyMaui_SpeaksAadinOfficialnaughtywriter2kwirkyKerriSSparklesDailygirl_a_whirl
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    In these lean times, instead of buying a GPS...I hired a homeless guy with a map to sit in the back-seat.

    • 201
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    DONTJIMMYMEJULZjustkeni11naughtywriter2kwirkyKerriroy_choudhurymurphy_comgirl_a_whirlMorganlizbeth81
    • 53
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    AadinOfficialkwirkyKerriroy_choudhurymurphy_comgirl_a_whirlMorganlizbeth81LeagueofNopeRasbanda_Manolo
    piplipsSupportPets_
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    I hate it when I catch my neighbor peering at me through the window...especially when I thought I was so well hidden in the bushes.

    • 178
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    DONTJIMMYMEJULZkwirkyKerriSSparklesDailyquirkismsMakesYouGigglethetobbieMaxine12333SarahCAMoore__
    • 64
    • RETWEETS
    jokerrogueAadinOfficialiWaireranotmargot663kwirkyKerriMaxine12333GanderGinGinGander
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Clearly (& happily) suffering from what I call the "Twitter Effect," when I realized I now admire women more for their wits, than their tits

    • 155
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    DONTJIMMYMEJULZjohneebegood1kwirkyKerriDearAuntAbbyMorganlizbeth81ShaeAaronLeagueofNopeAllyBallyBeal
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    AadinOfficialBadApple2311kwirkyKerriLeagueofNopeblaha_WhoMasterOfFuryAlexCarlsbadkollinsayz
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    I can only guess that whoever said, ''If you love something, set it free...'' lived a lonely life. If you love someone, fight to keep them.

    • 131
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    hippocroteezDONTJIMMYMEJULZTwistedCrazzysweetg35SSparklesDailyMeowww_777Morganlizbeth81ShaeAaron
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    msh245TwistedCrazzyBlondebizzledhavalmehtaslorigonzalez28sweetg35Morganlizbeth81junetegon__
    Di_Anonymously____
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    My Twitter crush drove 30 hrs for us to be together.A friend is crossing an ocean for her Twitter love. Twitter's pimp hand is international

    • 127
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    DONTJIMMYMEJULZSSparklesDailysilent_musingsMoneypennyNakedKnowsNuthinMorganlizbeth81LeagueofNopeAllyBallyBeal
    • 48
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    LunkenDrushKnowsNuthinMorganlizbeth81LeagueofNopeMythicalCrystalMasterOfFuryiBLOOdyNONSENSEnuclearbelle__
    Tinkerbell_
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Whatever doesn't kill you, makes...me re-strategize

    • 126
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    hippocroteezDONTJIMMYMEJULZbertiqueThe_MartiniGirlMomAnonycalluptomeKingOfAllMetalreinphall
    • 45
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    bertiqueMomAnonyTellEm_Isa1dSaraESpiveyGoodgirlBaddest__girl_a_whirlMorganlizbeth81drnkshakespeare
    JustCallMeFrank
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    I couldn't count the number of times the “mood” has been ruined by my dates asking, “Shouldn’t you put some ointment on that?”

    • 119
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    DONTJIMMYMEJULZLeagueofNopeAllyBallyBealleikub__breatheandloveblaha_WhofixyourcompassThatSapphireBel
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    LeagueofNopeblaha_WhoSaraESpiveyrachelb1281favstar1000favshellyeah63jasonlight73robyn_vo
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    As I stand here alone in the cold,in the dead of night,looking up at the stars,I ask myself the age old question..why am I not getting laid?

    • 100
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    hippocroteezDONTJIMMYMEJULZSSparklesDailyBlondAmbitionTOMorganlizbeth81LeagueofNopeAllyBallyBealbreatheandlove
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    LeagueofNopeomgrab____________SaraESpiveyrachelb1281DickHerterWorptWords________wheresmystarr____Bathing_in_Sin____
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    I guess my marriage was destined to fail...the night of our engagement, I also proposed to her sister, her Dad and a bottle of Jack Daniels

    • 104
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    DONTJIMMYMEJULZMorganlizbeth81sassybritches5LeagueofNopeAllyBallyBealfoxrompsTheRealRHBfuzzlime
    • 19
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    LeagueofNopefuzzlimelife_suckervodkachrome__omgrab____________SaraESpiveyrachelb1281Fallun_Angel__
    calvoquinn
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Off to have sex...so you know, back in 3 minutes. Well, maybe 4...she might ask me to open a new pack of batteries before I leave *sigh*

    • 104
    • FAVS
    DONTJIMMYMEJULZMorganlizbeth81sassybritches5jidu1980LeagueofNopeAllyBallyBealleikub__breatheandlove
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    LeagueofNopeginger_xtc__SaraESpiveyrachelb1281hellyeah63oldmanwntrmzkellyeagle__Riti
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    No joke: spent entire day alone, watching “Sleepless In Seattle“, “P.S. I Love You” and “Love Actually”…my penis has fully retracted.

    • 110
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    DONTJIMMYMEJULZMorganlizbeth81sassybritches5Reddit_SeattleLeagueofNopeAllyBallyBealbreatheandloveThatSapphireBel
    • 12
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    LeagueofNopeginger_xtc__omgrab____________SaraESpiveyrachelb1281PhilLaysheOjasonlight73Favstar_NSFW
    SupportPets_
  • smirkykev
      SmirkyKev @smirkykev

    Assumption is nine-tenths of the flaw.

    • 74
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    hippocroteezDONTJIMMYMEJULZBlondAmbitionTObertiqueLOUD_Thoughts_SaraESpiveyreinphallidiosity
    • 37
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    bertiqueSaraESpiveygirl_a_whirlLeagueofNopeAllyBallyBealAPogoreskiGiverney666wantyoutoo14
@smirkykev

@smirkykev

My daughter's father. Laughter is the soap for all the crap life throws at you.

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