@vaughancricket What's long, hard and when erect makes women moan like crazy...... An ironing board!!!

Currently writing an Irish O'rotic novel about a women who falls for the Lucky Charms of a BDSM Leprechaun.
Its called 40 Shades of Green.

Given the fact that Greece, Ireland, Portugal and Spain are all competing shouldn't the football be called the No Euros?

@guitaristdom Long before Communism and Nuclear weapons Teddy Roosevelt said 'speak softly and carry a big stick'. Still true today.

@yerwomin WOW!!!

Went and got my own charger. In the pouring rain. And to save getting my clothes wet I went in my birthday suit.

@isgrandmathere @deadbeatmum @half_pint_j I did. Still use that trick on my boots to get pens to work.

@deadbeatmum I met Gary Numan in Ards. At the Airshow. He flew a Japanese warplane as a hobby.

With schools starting back all mothers are getting prepared for the most important part of the day.

Looking good at the school gates

Deep Purple... diver's photographs #MailOnline. Not the article...just the first words...:) http://t.co/wIg0MKEc http://t.co/BkN3mQ3m

This time next week Match of the Day should be starting. Never thought I'd say this but.....Yawn.....:(

@trudski2012 Tree times a Lady
#woodsongs

@djmisslucy @deadbeatmum Sorry. This isn't a HUGE ISSUE at all. In the grand scale of things it's completely inconsequential. #stupidity

Just been asked by a student from the University of Minnesota what my socio-political take was on the situation on NI.

RT @cath_caldwell: This is just too disgusting/amazing not to twitpic! http://t.co/pIzCjeT3

Very artistic. Well done. ;(

I assume Facebooks Mark Zuckerbergs new wife just changed her relationship status to 'Ker-ching'

@bakedinbelfast @ulsterchick0001 'For hands that scrub trumpets, use mild green Fairy Liquid'...;)

@ulsterchick0001 Hmm. I call it 'Fair Rage'

@rardeenus Holdmy T*tty
#tvimprovements
#geddit?

Decided to sell my Fender air guitar, air amp and all leads for £100. See pic for further details. http://t.co/Gd47DOFh