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thank you for giving me a reason to turn off my humanity switch.
it's up to you if you give it up.
if you can learn it, you can beat them.
find people who will love you even when you hang up on them.
there better be a good reason for cockblocking my impulsive tendencies.
life has no time for me.
can't afford to listen anymore; the ram in my head is all maxed out.
some people's resume should just say 'skills: cuntry'.
(me on zero patience, waiting for a male friend): 'are you giving birth in the men's room? do I need to send in a squad of obgyn?'.
not in the mood for intelligent conversation; in every mood for ignoring conversation.
don't take 600 selfies and call it photography.
bumping into college mates after 7 years: 'dang, you all got fat!' -this is how I know my road to hell is nicely paved.
annoying my coworker by adding 's' after every word; bye bills i's needs tos goes homes. that constipated grammar nazi face. (I is wins.)
I just saw gold eyebrows on Instagram hahahahaha gold fucking eyebrows!
fuck you for asking me to explain shit.
we all know that 1 person who's not bright, not dumb, just mediocre -and is exactly the type who will point out a typo in a suicide note.
don't be that person who needs an explanation on sarcasm.
shamelessly obstinate. pretends to be deaf.
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