Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If you can't trust a girl, you're doing it wrong.
I won't smoke you weed. But I will give you dabs. I like seeing people cough and get too high.
Dear Zippers that are on the left,
Who the fuck do you think you are!?
Tights are so girls can wear short skirts to work & not get written up. Not to dress up as a fat version of your favorite female superhero.
"Follow me. There's a fruit loop in the toilet bowl" ~my cat
Stop giving Michael Bay blowjobs, Megan Fox. You're ruining my childhood.
Stage dive for Jesus. Crowd surf for Christ.
Russia to the rest of the world: "Crimea River"
Hoppin down the wood fuckin bunnies shipping on carrot juice. Ears back. With my mind on some lettuce cuz eatin pellets ain't sublime.
Relationship status: wedlock deadlock
People are at their best when they don't.
Having a beer pong table in your home is pretty much permission for me to puke inside and not feel bad.
May you life be a never-ending bounty of dry pussy and wet socks.
I only turn up on Tuesdays when there's tacos...Will twerk for guac.
Based on everything, everything sucks. Pay attention to nothing but label it all with a silly font. Then nap.
"daring is the woman who eats pickled beets in her best white shirt." -Aristotle