Check out my interview with the always hilarious @nottjmiller ! http://t.co/AGxzmlXy PLEASE RT!!

@scotteweinberg can't believe how awful Detention is so far, you seen it yet? Most annoyed I've been with a film in a while

Kristen Stewart winning an award for "best female performance" is like giving Michael Vick an award for humanitarianism

I smoke cigarettes because I love shitting

Instead of giving away free panties how about you give away FOOD TO THE HOMELESS, VICTORIA? The secret is you're a cunt

"I have an online presence" - dude who's about to not get laid

@_mikemay @cashlevy @cashinginwithtj @nottjmiller you can urinate a vagina into a snow person

@cashinginwithtj @nottjmiller the Sean Connery "Rule number one" business may be the funniest thing ever

@chelseavperetti hahhahahaha

“@chickfila: Glad you enjoyed your meal! What is your favorite dipping sauce?”

Sinner splooge

@mediumgallery Nick is so stupid!

I've hit the big time! Listen to my episode of @mediumgallery 's podcast, now available for free on iTunes!

 https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/suburban-secrets-stanislav/id648010346?mt=2 …

WHY SHOULD WE LIMIT HAPPY TO ONE HOUR?!

@colleen_beezy lol'd

Listened to over 90 hours of @peteholmes magic in the past 90 days, and I still just want MORE #weirdo pic.twitter.com/qiQmVg2t5j

Hey guys remember heytell lol

So you're telling me a 401 K isn't 401 grams of ketamine? Fuck, someone give me my employers phone number

Apparently ferrets are illegal in California, I have to rethink this whole moving thing

Meanwhile, HOCKEY!!!!!!

I have read a script for a new episode of Curb and it is glorious. Looks like season 9 is on the horizon...