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Today my EX husband, who broke my spine, had to watch whilst I WALKED out of the courtroom. That, there is all the alimony I will ever need.
Tell her something she’s never heard before…like the truth.
Before you ask God for what you want, first thank God for what you have.
Some incredibly lonely woman out there is laying in bed longing for some D and I'm sitting here in my ALF undies with my hands down my pants
I would never date someone whose friends I didn't like. Cause then who am I going to be fucking in 4-5 months?
Ugly people with sexy voices are the real terrorists.
The awkward moment when ur almost helping the beggar with some doh,then he gets a call,only for him to remove an Iphone!!(u_u) 0.o
Sluts on Facebook that post bikini pics and get 50 likes will never know the satisfaction of writing a joke and getting 50 stars.