Wanting to have sex w/me, is nice. Wanting to touch every non-sexual part of my body until I'm begging you to have sex w/me, is sexy.

It's totally ridiculous to be in love with someone you've never met, right?

My self esteem needed twitter 3 years ago.

If you are hinting at naked pictures. A) Stop hinting. Man up and fucking ask. B) No.

Is to too much to ask to be the fantasy, fulfill the fantasy, and have my fantasies fulfilled...all with the same person?

All people should be treated with respect always. Not just when it's convenient.

If I star and RT 20 or more of your tweets...I might be in love with you. Or you might be funny. (It's probably both.)

I totally get it guys. I like looking at my boobs too.

When in a bad mood a hug makes me feel better. I'll probably fight it at first. But if you are persistent I will eventually give in & smile.

I can not be trusted to use a snooze button responsibly.

I think I need one of these 'hate fucks' you people keep talking about.

Me: What's the difference between boys and girls?
2yo: ...
Me: Boys have a __?
2yo: PENIS!
Me: Girls have a __?
2yo: PONYTAIL!!

There is nothing better than laughing so hard you almost* pee a little. *actually

Lots of girls at the gym seem to be working off their curves. What a waste. I love my curves.

Hey guys...want to get into a girls pants? Make her laugh and feel pretty. It's not a hard or original formula, but it'll work every time.

My kinky thoughts could make your kinky thoughts blush.

Need to find a guy who kisses me w/his eyes open. Cause you shouldn't be shutting everything out, you should be taking it all in.

Is it too stalker-y to just sit on his TL and star things the second they show up no matter what it says?

If I don't openly flirt openly with you it's because I'm waiting for you to DM me. Get on that, please!

There is nothing sweeter than a cute guy, stopped beside me in traffic, making funny faces at my son and the two of them laughing.