Cuddling after sex is nice but I'd rather talk about superheros.

Barry White is responsible for most of the people I know.

Girl in the Education Connection commercials. Stop it. Just stop.

Fun fact: sex boosts your immune system... uhm, what?! *cough, cough* Baaaby!!

"I thought you were dead." - my 10 yr/o brother to our grandpa over Skype.

Hey people who look good in photos and on camera and don't sound like morons in recordings... what's it like?

I saw a 12 inch centipede on the sidewalk today. It was dead and covered in flies but I lit it on fire anyway because zombie centipedes.. :/

Mr. Grinch is THE greatest diss track of all time. You lose, Jay Z.

From the depths of a blanket fort is how I will prefer to watch all movies till, the day I die.

I wonder... how does Maury sleep at night knowing he's the Prime Minister of all ShitStirrers?

I just wanna let everyone know that for the past 3 hours my legs have been repeatedly raped by a fucking mosquito that just wont die.

No good ever came from naming a kid Heather.

Nostalgia all over the place.

No one is safe when I'm hungry. No one.

Love it when I'm trying not to spill hot tea in my lap & my nose decides to itch so badly that I just have to scratch & there goes my cooter

Fuck having filters for anyone's emotions anymore. I quit.

I star because one day you will love me.

BE LESS STUPIDER!!

"Fine than, leave, just like all the others!!" - me to every hair I lose. x(

No thank you sir, I don't want to know why they call you Avocado.