Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I believe you have the right to abortions until they're at least 25. By then you should know if they're a fuck up or not.
Sunbathing nude in backyard. Wife asked what I was doing. I said warming up your dinner. Didn't work.
Hey cyclists. Want me to share the road? Do the speed limit or drive a fucking car!
If your first name is D'Arby, I'm pretty sure that was also the parking lot in which you were conceived.
Dammit people, tweet something funny! If I want cuddly shit I'll watch the fucking lifetime channel!
Monster energy drink and coffee. I can see noise
I'm pretty sure I'm a 3rd generation don't give a fuck.
Accidentally bought anti aging cream that makes you look twenty years younger. Fuck. Now I'm 7.
Sex. What other people get to do.
After happy hour, never let your mother in law drive.
Hey bicyclists, Lance Armstrong called and he wants his pants back.