I'm sorry but I don't feel safe in a world where Jlo can't find real love.

If you are capable of napping in jeans you are capable of anything, including murder!

Couples should have just one instagram account. I shouldn't have to see both versions of your life.

Lauren Bush got married to Ralph Lauren's son and she is now Lauren Bush Lauren... Lauren Lauren. Easily the best fun fact of my week.

Omg, please tell me someone has proposed using latte art. please just say it's true.

The strongest power we have as humans is the ability to not return someones text message.

If Twitter has taught me one thing, it's that there are millions of ways to incorporate Bieber in your handle name.

I'm a pretty understanding person but if Snookie gets married before me I'm going to blow up the whole wide world.

No one has 99 problems. That's so many problems.

Instead of grabbing someone sexy and telling them "hey" maybe just grab someone cute with a good personality and tell them "hi."

Girls who are on the same menstrual cycle as their friends should basically be referred to as gang members, that's how dangerous they are.

Our generation is way too comfortable taking self portraits.

I feel like once Jennifer Love Hewitt finds true love, then I will find true love.

I can't promise to be happy for you if you are pregnant and still have a better body than me. I'm sorry I'm not perfect.

I'm prepared to end all my friendships with people who don't understand my love for Hunger Games.

Couples that talk to each other on Twitter are worse than serial killers to me.

The amount of times I check an email to make sure I haven't cc'ed the person I'm talking shit about makes me feel terrible about myself.

My life is one big "how did this big bruise happen?"

Girls with long nails explain to me your life. Like, do you not touch things? Do you enjoy dirt?

I have the soul of an 80 yr old woman, the personality of a 13 yr old girl & the eating habits of middle aged divorced dad.