@some1s_sista's (Not a p0rn bot) most faved Tweets...
"My throat is starting to hurt."
"Here suck on this lozenge."
"That's NO lozenge"
"Suck on it anyway."
Ahhh...romance.
"Here suck on this lozenge."
"That's NO lozenge"
"Suck on it anyway."
Ahhh...romance.
WalMart, BigLots & Dollar General all in one day. It was the White Trash Trifecta.
And I think I won.
And I think I won.
In support of all my Jewish friends today, I will eat all the food they cannot.
Today is my Nom Kippur.
Today is my Nom Kippur.
2yo just walked into office CRYING that her "hat" is stuck on her head.
This is only tweet-worthy because her "hat" is the potty seat.
This is only tweet-worthy because her "hat" is the potty seat.
Hubs hung my towel as far away from the hot tub as possible. I think I just pulled the neighbor boys through puberty.
Monster on Sesame Street keeps talking about the "Triangle of Destiny" & giving me the giggles cuz thats what I call my favorite bikini wax
"I found a kitty!"
"No more cats"
"But its hurt"
"No more cats, Jean"
"It's all white!"
"No. More. Cats."
"I shall call him Gabriel."
"Shit"
"No more cats"
"But its hurt"
"No more cats, Jean"
"It's all white!"
"No. More. Cats."
"I shall call him Gabriel."
"Shit"
Last day of the month. Paying bills. Feels like everyone has a hand in my pocket ...
which is really not as fun as it sounds.
which is really not as fun as it sounds.
No, thats not what my Pulse Perfection mascara wand was intended for...but I didn't get married with the intention of sleeping alone either.
Somehow smashed my ankle on the foot of the couch.
Related: 2yo has 3 new colorful expletives to add to her already dicey vocabulary
Related: 2yo has 3 new colorful expletives to add to her already dicey vocabulary
My throat feels like I went down on a man wearing a barbed-wire condom.
I paint a pretty picture, don't I?
I paint a pretty picture, don't I?
Ooo, need to get dressed. Client will be here with his check this morning. Don't want him to get confused as to what he's paying for.
Literally just told my 14yo "There is one Mother in this house and its me!" Immediately started laughing. God help me.
My son's teacher didn't write *anything* in today's comment box. Not too shocking though - my kids usually leave their teachers speechless.
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