Folks, stick around for the end of the acceptance speech. After the credits, Nick Fury asks Barack Obama to join the Avengers. #fb

@mobute please change your twitter background to BIG BEAR: DORNIN' THANGS

I am one lack of nap away from causing a scene in the food court.

WAR ON HUGS: THE STRUGGLE FOR SNUGGLES

@billcorbett enjoy your minty wang fingers

@harryelephante Trying to hire scabs in a town called *Union City* has a special dirty poetry to it.

@sosadtoday smile failed: illegal operation: too sad

QR codes are the Pet Rock of the Information Age. #fb

CLOUD ATLAS SHRUGGED

@cake_smoth "THAT ONE BLACK FELLOW LOOKS ALIKE TO US" -japan until 1987

this old guy on bart is having a sad quiet twilight zone moment and I think he is me from the future

"we named the DONG indiana" --Dr Henry Jokes, Sr

I type "yolo" and it autocorrects to "tool" and I smile and smile

@hobofood Schwarzenegger. Dumb peasant moves from tiny village, builds fortune doing nothing, attains political power, fucks it all up. #USA

When a werewolf urinates, it's called 'lycanthro-pee'. #thankyou #thankyou

@dirtypreston genetic storm's a-brewin'; time to crawl into the stem cellar

@revmagdalen I think it's a youthful kneejerk response to the failures and perceived oppression of the system. Sadly, education's part of it

I still read #jerkcity.

I would just like to remind the world that Bronies exist. Sorry, you guys.

@brianmbendis bagley, c 2037: "the death of jesus is controversial, but i'll never have to draw him again!"