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im starting a religion where the universe is a string of sausages in a dog s mouth & everything ends when the angry butcher catches up
ikea factory mix-up shipped spiegelman's Maus w/ my chair instead of assembly guide. its been hell dressing the animals w/ nothing to sit on
Whenever I feel sick I expect people to notice, bit then I remember I always look like garbage
Cumbersnitches get Cumberstitches
OH SHIT, LEATHER LEGGINGS AS PANTS IS SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND ME. I HOPE SHE IS IMPRESSED BY EARLY BOARDING PRIVALEGES ON DELTA.
This other girl next to me has been working on the same Instagram post for, literally, 15 min. THERE AREN'T THAT MANY FILTERS GIRL.