RT @sween Madonna is backstage right now, reading your tweets, and sobbing softly, so softly, in a vaguely British accent.

RT @strombo: when will my iphone learn that i never want to say "shot"... it's always "shit"

It's funny when people on Twitter apologize for being offline. Don't worry. I have 800 people in my feed. I didn't notice you were gone.

I'm gonna start a new business where I just go into people's houses and bake things so it smells nice when they come home.

KELLY AND DYLAN ARE DATING IN REAL LIFE. http://t.co/vbX2YZGJ

Required listening for lifestyle bloggers. And everybody. Brené Brown on vulnerability: http://t.co/28VWokpc (via @lynn_bee)

You know what's annoying? When people go out of their way to prove their job is harder than yours. What? Why? We all work. The end.

My little house and my little blog and I are in the Montreal Gazette today. http://t.co/AvnasJp2

@mana_bear Haha. Yes. We have The Gap in Canada.

"I don't feel so good." - everyone within a 10 foot radius of me.

My first cat vomit experience this morning. That was awesome.

Hey. Remember when it WASN'T Monday tomorrow? That was a good day.

RT @advicetowriters: A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper. - E.B. WHITE

Hey #Montreal, my loft in St-Henri is for sale. And it's really nice and kinda fancy.  http://bit.ly/14JwZcX  #realestate

I could go for some Twizzlers. I'm really in the mood for a plastic-tasting snack.

RT @correyelizabeth The time in which you get to remain in your towel after your shower is truly magical.

Yikes. RT @tylercoates My new life goal is to have a NYT wedding announcement as hilariously pretentious as this one.  http://nyti.ms/YmvUq9 

POPEAGEDDON.

I think not watching The Bachelor has been the best decision I've ever made.

Happiest of birthdays to one of my besties, @evemartel. The giggle queen and duchess of great skin. MISS YOU HAVE FUN OMG PONIES BCOB.