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It's funny when people on Twitter apologize for being offline. Don't worry. I have 800 people in my feed. I didn't notice you were gone.
I'm gonna start a new business where I just go into people's houses and bake things so it smells nice when they come home.
You know what's annoying? When people go out of their way to prove their job is harder than yours. What? Why? We all work. The end.
"I don't feel so good." - everyone within a 10 foot radius of me.
My first cat vomit experience this morning. That was awesome.
Hey. Remember when it WASN'T Monday tomorrow? That was a good day.
I could go for some Twizzlers. I'm really in the mood for a plastic-tasting snack.
I think not watching The Bachelor has been the best decision I've ever made.
Freelance writer by day. Professional shenaniganer by night. Creator of http://sometimesicing.com & http://sometimesfancy.com. Teacher of yoga. VP of Awesome.