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If life gives you lemons, swap them for bananas and scan them through the self-service checkout as lemons.
Instagram won't work until every single person on Twitter has made the same joke about the perils of an undocumented meal.
Combine the name of your absent father with the name of the street you ran away from at age 16 to get your pornstar name
Australia, we need to STOP THE BOAT shoes paired with rolled up burgundy chinos.
Shit Girls Save: Nice paper shopping bags from expensive stores, texts from boys, friendships that are ultimately doomed.
Only three more sleeps until I get to find out what everyone at work got up to on the weekend!!!
Congratulations to Jennifer Lawrence for overcoming the adversity of having such a nondescript name.
Everyone get an early night. We've got a long week of conversations about what day it is versus what day it feels like ahead of us.
I'm like one of those people who arrogantly guess your star sign but with high school netball positions. 'You are SUCH a WD'.
Tweet every tweet as if it were your last. You never know when you'll be morbidly repurposed for online journalism.
It's Saturday night so everyone is standing around waiting to be asked where they work.
At least she died doing what she loved. Checking Favstar at a pedestrian crossing.
Top 10 Manipulative Buzzfeed Headlines That Turn Out to Be A Wildly Anticlimactic List of Photos
Deleting Instagram reminds me of those kids who crudely covered their exam paper with their hands. No one's is gonna steal your photos mate.
waif
