hey, it's a tuesday, and this is crazy, but here's my shot glass, so pour me maybe? #sorrynotsorryy

tswift should never, ever, ever make another song. #sorrynotsorryy

if i deleted all the people i don't give a shit about i would literally have like 30 facebook friends #sorrynotsorryy

i thought you were hot, you thought i was sober. classic mixup. #sorrynotsorryy

i got 99 problems and they all due tomorrow #sorrynotsorryy

when in doubt, black the fuck out. #sorrynotsorryy

thank god i'm at a stage in my life where it's socially acceptable to pregame everything. #sorrynotsorryy

don't give one single fuck #sorrynotsorryy

getting texts that say "was that tweet about me?" #sorrynotsorryy

i can guarantee that my split ends will always be more interesting than your lecture #sorrynotsorryy

tonight i'm trying to get to that happy place right between don't know my own name and head in the toilet. #sorrynotsorryy

if you don't secretly want to date/be scott disick, you're lying. #sorrynotsorryy

i don't hate you. i literally have no feelings towards you #sorrynotsorryy

it's not talking shit, it's stating facts. #sorrynotsorryy

i need someone who will love me for drunk me #sorrynotsorryy

there is literally nothing harder in this whole world than understanding your asian manicurist #sorrynotsorryy

say yolo one more time. #sorrynotsorryy

i think drunk me does this outrageous shit just so hungover me can laugh at it the next day #sorrynotsorryy

you can say whatever you want. i'll be over here not giving a fuck. #sorrynotsorryy

you only live twice -jesus christ #sorrynotsorryy