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Oh. My. God. Becky. Look. At. Her. Intellectual. Prowess.
Show Me Someone That Hates Donuts & Ill Show You This Cool Rock Shaped Like Africa. This Isnt A Combative Tweet. I Jus Like Looking At Stuff
Someone Favorited a Tweet You Were Mentioned In. Someone Mentioned You In Real Life. A Stranger Whispered Your Name In A Crowded Bus Station
holy cow did you guys see playerman make that scorepoint ? this is the crazeyest game of sports yet !
if you favorite this tweet i'll deliver you a spooky avatar sometime in the next 29 days
Shift the "You Can't Judge A Book By It's Cover" paradigm by WRITING the entire book on the cover. Inside? an Ice Cream Sandwich. Enjoy.
Remember what u did last night in bed? Memory Foam does. How much money u willing to pay Memory Foam to "Forget"? -Paid for by Sleep Number®
You Wave Back At The Inflatable Dancing Tube Man Until You Realize He's Actually Waving At His Inflatable Dancing Tube Man Friend BEHIND You
*walks up to a large group of white people* Yall here for the yogurt commercial too?
spoiler: they don't even EAT breakfast in this movie. Misrepresentation club, more like it
Reverse Werewolf. A wolf that turns Man at full moons and does normal human Guy stuff. Like eat a cheese sandwich or complain about humidity
whoops it's 2013 and i keep signing "ＰＲＡＩＳＥ ＴＨＥ ＭＡＬＥＶＯＬＥＮＴ ＦＬＯＡＴＩＮＧ ＤＥＡＴＨＳＰＨＥＲＥ" on all my checks
rap game i have misplaced my glasses and cannot locate them without the use of my glasses
i will listen to you talk about your dream lastnight but please recognise you are committing an act of conversational terrorism
If You Play "Dark Side Of The Moon" At EXACTLY The Second Bite Into a Wendy's Chicken Burger It Syncs Up PERFECTLY With A Very Relaxing Nap
Somebody is posting some NICE things about u on a blog. Somebody is saying how cool & Sexy u r. SOMEBODY is waiting for u to say Thanks mayb
new hobby: calling people on craigslist and haggling the price on objects i do not plan to buy ever
Young kids don't know the struggle of getting 99% done with a download and then have someone pick up the phone and kick you offline