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Anybody hear a little girl scream about ten minutes ago...
I just slammed my finger in the garage door
The best things in life are truly free...
Like masturbation, for instance
Good morning everyone.. I need to get my study on... Mech exam fast approaching
Goin to bed with a hard on is like u goin to bed with a bowlin ball undr ur mattress. Very uncomfortable and needs to be played with
I like my women like I like my beer.. Ice cold and Tasteless
#thatawkwardmoment you realized you just sent a dirty pic to the wrong person. Sorry mom
Waiting for a blow job from my wife is like waiting for rain in this drought :-/
Time for another hot shower.. Its like a regular shower accept with the devil by my side..
I'm thinkn bout installing a drink holder next to my toilet. So I can drink my beer and take a dump the way god intended
Life is all about choices... In a perfect world their is always a third option..
Grrrr...... So my box of oatmeal is empty.. Such a tease.
who's up for some tacos?!
RIP EMMANUEL STEWART..
I have a fetish for midget porn..
There was a time when i did all my best thinkn on the toilet.
and then i discovered crack..
God has a plan for everybody.. like me and my heroin addiction....
Im sure everything will work out fine
Some old broad just sat next to me while I was watchn Freaks of Cock
Haha.. the look on her face was priceless.
She got up and moved ;-/
#ThoseThreeWords where's my pants?!!
If masturbating is wrong... I don't ever want to be right!!
Thinking of joining a cult.. Does anyone know if any cool cults to join?