@sparkgrrl658's (Hobag, MD) most faved Tweets...
so, in terms of the VMAs, i'm just saying, i think lady gaga is what would happen if tori amos & dr. rockso had a daughter.
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"antidepressants may cause erectile dysfunction?" "dude i would be SO depressed if my dick didn't work."
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so i bet all you assholes who decided having an over'designed' myspace was better than a real website are sorry now. just sayin'.
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my mom watches six shows at once all while falling asleep every five minutes. BUT DON'T TAKE THE REMOTE! I WAS WATCHING...WHATEVER THAT WAS!
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here, i made you some kool-aid! what's the flavor you ask? oh, it's called 'get over yourself.' drink it, trust me.
3
is it just me, or would you not buy a pregnancy test off the damged/gone bad rack to save a few bucks?
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i need a chauffer and unlimited income. you know, in case any of you were thinking of getting me a gift this year.
3
ps, i must be drunk and apathetic if i didn't care at all about the girl puking in the sink AND 7-11 lettuce tastes this fresh.
3
been staring at the computer so long my eyes are blurring. better go stare at the tv for awhile to give them a break.
3
also, why is the cotton jingle stuck in my head? related: is cotton jingle a euphemism for vagina? because it should be.
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the fresh prince of bel air themesong does not need to be stuck in my head at 5am, somehow waking me out of a dead sleep. fuck you, brain.
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file under: times i've never been happier to receive a 404 error - after clicking "metallic stretch denim fabrics"
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clearly the fact that whole foods had no shipyard pumpkin ale was a sign from the universe saying 'stay sober for one night this week, jerk'
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i was able to sleep through the night. HUGE. and my checks came in. and theres a huge jug of arnold palmer in the fridge. i just might live.
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just finished watching 'precious.' holy shit you guys. thankfully it ended before i started bawling.
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"Checked into my motel, said to the desk lady "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." She replied "NO, it's regular porn, sicko!"
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what happens if you drink the entire two quarts of crystal light in one sitting? i'm asking for my bladder.
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