@spdracerx's (Kevin) most faved Tweets...
Pizza Hut's new slogan "Now You're Eating" is as unnecessary as Delta's "Now You're On A Plane" or Abercrombie's "Now You're A Douche."
You down with OCD? Yeah, you know me. Yeah, you know me. Yeah, you know me. Yeah, you know me. Yeah, you know me. Yeah, you know me.
Just toured the Edgar Allan Poe museum.
Little known fact: before he died, Poe intended to pen a sequel entitled "That's So Raven."
Little known fact: before he died, Poe intended to pen a sequel entitled "That's So Raven."
My dad keeps asking my nephew "who's the biggest boy?" while completely ignoring the fact that I'm sitting right here. Dude, I'm like 6' 4".
My new shoes have given me scabs on both of my Achilles heels. If only history had provided some example of how vulnerable that spot can be.
Whatever, kid. I'm 31. I can just buy my own damn candy. I don't have to beg for it like a freaking hobo.
It's actually kind of fun to watch Fox News if you pretend everyone is being satirical like Stephen Colbert. It also doesn't hurt to drink.
It is precipitating locally and the people of this city/state/region are unable to properly operate a motor vehicle in this circumstance.
A friendly local hobo has dubbed me "the tall man of soul." Yes, I am proud of it. I don't know anyone else who has a sweet hobo nickname.
Social experiment: if you're seeing this tweet because you did a search for "uncircumcised clown penis," you have a weird fetish.
I've got a new prescription, a new haircut and new glasses. Now all I need is -- what do you call those? oh right -- a girlfriend.
"Because you enjoyed When The Levees Broke" makes me sound like an asshole, Netflix. Please rephrase your movie suggestions.
Greek letters make some things sound badass (alpha male, gamma ray, delta force) but others not so much (Betamax, Catherine Zeta-Jones).
For some reason, "I wanna sext you up" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
OH MY GOD I JUST MADE A COLOR ME BADD JOKE.
OH MY GOD I JUST MADE A COLOR ME BADD JOKE.
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