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Daughter just farted in the car. Eyes are bleeding. Lungs are melting. Her WoW toons are getting deleted when we get home.
Factory resetting my phone, I have to ducking teach it how to swear again.
For the love of all that's holy (no matter WHAT you hold dear) "should of" does not grammatically exist except to embarrass yourself.
FYI: No matter how many things you avoid putting in your body YOU'RE STILL GOING TO DIE. Unless you're Nicholas Cage. He's a goddamn vampire
If you piss on a public toilet seat and just leave it I hope you die painfully and alone knowing your life was wasted and nobody loved you.
Every time I think I'm too negative I just open Twitter and feel like a positivity shitting rainbow surfing ultra mega unicorn of light/joy
Wife got a tattoo, her first, daughter got a section of her hair dyed purple. I got Splatoon. It's ink day here in Austin.
Reminder: just because you share a genetic bond with someone you are not obligated to do anything for, with, or to them
I'm Straight Outta caring about this fucking meme.
Sorry internet, I enjoyed Gods of Egypt and you cannot make me feel bad about it. It never pretended to be accurate.
I'm pretty white, but not "That Trump makes some good points," white.
One problem I've noticed is that when everyone is so quick to assign labels to others and themselves we forget that we're all human.
Gamer, reader, husband, father, tech, and disturbance maker. Battletag=Glarf#1492; DragonPool#1561 Steam=psn_originalglarf PSN=originalglarf
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