It's 12.12.12 not 12.12.12 you stupid Americans.

Remember that every follow that @fordsouthafrica gets from now until Friday unlocks R50 for mission vale in PE. Go on, it's that easy.

The key to a successful relationship is making sure you are always the crazy one.

Crocs :mullets for your feet.

I once dunked a rusk in tea until there were no more bubbles. Dont Fuck with me.

Dear Thursday, Just so you know, I think about Friday while you are fucking me.

For every Re-tweet this gets I will Donate R0.00 to the NG Kerk.

some of my best friends have names starting with "@"

Show me a man that's a vegetarian and Ill show you a man that's trying to shag a Vegetarian.

Dear Cape Town, We really don't care that it hailed and its gonna get cold again. Stop being so soft. Sincerely, Joburg (a real city).

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Retweet this if your timeline is full of soccer & you couldn't give a shit.

Some of you spell worse than Stevie Wonder typing on an Iphone, with oven mits on, while horseback riding.

Guys that shave their legs, also shave their vagina.

RT @burgerboxxx: Breaking News: Fokofpolisiekar and Steve Hofmeyer are forming a new band! It's called Fokofstevehofmeyer.

Lets make a deal. If this Tweet gets 100 Retweets then @shellspembroke will show us her boobs.

Facebook : what are you thinking? Twitter : what are you doing? 4square: where are you? Conclusion: the internet is my girlriend

According to SAPS 1 in every 12 people live next to a sex offender. Not me, I live next to 2 sexy 13 year old girls.

Dear matriculants, don't worry about your results. They mean nothing in the real world. What really matters is HOW MANY FOLLOWERS YOU HAVE

Watching Grays does not make you a Doctor, Watching Entourage does not make you an actor, but watching Jerseylicious makes you a retard.