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I guess it's not fair to be mad that I can't find a picture of something that, as far as I know, only exists in my imagination. #braincamera
My supervisor doesn't know the word 'adhesive'. I will now feel unjustifiably superior for the rest of the day. (Still get paid way less.)
Why can't I become a fan of something without it completely engulfing my brain like so many Gigerian face-huggers?
My cat just called me a "Neanderthalian meatsack." He's also wearing some kind of cybernetic eyepiece.
This does not bode well.
I hate it when I don't have any real crises going on, because inventing them in my head is EXHAUSTING.
Vampire Diaries t-shirt that should exist: Mystic Falls 2013 Race for the Cure
How bout this: I like my coffee like I like my Irish existentialists; full of whiskey and bitterness. Hooooh!
Or jokes about Quantum Leap. Whichever.
I think I should only tweet Samuel Beckett jokes, considering how many retweets I got.
Putting my hands on my hips after having lost a little weight: "Oh my God, I have giant malignant tumors! Oh, that's bone. Huh."
Plowing through DS9 for the first time. That Odo is a tender soul.
Wannabe author, sometime stand-up, full-time office drone.