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@stacey727's (Stacey) most faved Tweets...
stacey727
To honor my dad's memory today, I'm going to get drunk, toss over the kitchen table, then go out and bang some waitress. He'd approve.
@stacey727
stacey727
Not sure exactly what just went on between me and this ice cream, but now I need a shower.
@stacey727
stacey727
Just like Rocky, I could eat raw eggs before I work out. Well, as long as they were mixed in brownie batter.
@stacey727
stacey727
I'm so tired. Tonight I think we'll play dead girl and horny mortician.
@stacey727
stacey727
Those people in line for Sarah Palin's book signing would vote for a cheeseburger if they thought it believed in Jesus.
@stacey727
stacey727
According to my four year old, we are going to dinner at Fuckrudder's tonight.
@stacey727
stacey727
HOLY SHIT!!! Some rich guy cheated on his wife and she got pissed. Stop the fucking presses. AGAIN.
@stacey727
stacey727
Waiting to donate blood. I swear if they have the same crappy snacks as last time I'm going to go all AB positive up in this place.
@stacey727
stacey727
I wish I had a juicier explanation for these scrapes on my knees besides the truth which is that I fell off the treadmill last night.
@stacey727
stacey727
10 9 8 7 6..and there it is, the yell from the next office asking if I received the email she just sent.
@stacey727
stacey727
I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY KID. As abusually.
@stacey727
stacey727
I'm thinking about home schooling my kids. Not for the educational aspect, but because I hate packing lunches.And open houses. And PTA mtgs.
@stacey727
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stacey727
"Please keep your fingers out of your butthole." A phrase I never thought I'd have to ever say to anyone, yet I just said it, twice.
@stacey727
16
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stacey727
Damn. Need the exes address to file this Family Court petition. "Shit hole with a couch in the front yard" isn't specific enough.
@stacey727
15
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stacey727
I just had a unintentional front row seat for the Thursday morning poop-off going on in stalls one and three.
@stacey727
15
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stacey727
"Well, what do you know? I promised Obama a set of Asian hotties for his birthday, so you see this works out perfectly, Kim."-Clinton
@stacey727
15
LisaG732nicedreamtoddadamsonburwellIsJonasjharlotjoeschmittyhfrex_ferricMugOfGasolineiamnotdiddyKimsCrackersprettygirlmasonbedheadblondetollehaus
stacey727
Cousin's wife posted on Fb that she is "cleaning like a maniac". I've been to her house, & yes it does look like a crazy person cleans it.
@stacey727
15
LisaG732nicedreamrsmallbonemhgloverapodixisCranberryPersonCosaMostrodavio1962JeeNeeBeerex_ferriciamnotdiddyKimsCrackersprettygirlmasonbedheadblondetollehaus
stacey727
I'm 2 hrs into the last day of my 30s. I should be skydiving making out w/ a chick while writing my novel right now. But no, I'm on twitter.
@stacey727
15
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stacey727
Co-worker emailed asking if anyone knew "where left over candy could be donated to?" "My fat ass," was not the answer she was seeking.
@stacey727
13
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stacey727
Just was totally busted talking to myself. Someone else now knows I think Wendy is a buttmunch.
@stacey727
13
spdracerxsnackajaweaayeshamusGorillaSushiTrick_or_tweetjharlotdavio1962urkillingmerex_ferriciamnotdiddyKimsCrackersbedheadblondetollehaus
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