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if you don't like the word "cunt," you probably are one.
hey skinny girls, cookies and milk at midnight are fucking DELICIOUS.
why do some people have a uterus AND a mustache?
i fucking love french bread.
and not wearing a bra
Knowledge. I like that shit.
RTing hot girls won’t make them like you. believe me, I’ve tried.
my answer to most questions: “because people are fucking stupid”
when twitter starts to annoy me, i skip on over to facebook and remind myself what it REALLY feels like to want to kill people.
here i sit, hoping im added to a list called “want to pee in her butt.”
for all those who wish they could unfuck some people, say “aye.”
im playing volleyball later. can i borrow your mom’s kneepads?
i never feel so misunderstood as after i read a tweet i find hilarious aloud to the people with whom i keep company. they dont understand me
i think i know how to handle this. “vagina.”
that bruise really brings out the color of your eyes
my ex boyfriend is going to jail again. is it my birthday???
best quagmire quote: “want me to drag my sack across your face?”
when life sucks i just enjoy the head
fuck stress, have sex.
if you're a sensitive little bitch, carry your ass back to facebook with the quickness. #kickrocks
“just find the one you feel the most comfortable on. try them all out.” Olympic commentator on what i assume is dicks
prepare yourself for a plethora of retweets, condescending behavior, and colorful language. also, i enjoy car selfies.