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why do some people have a uterus AND a mustache?
if you don't like the word "cunt," you probably are one.
hey skinny girls, cookies and milk at midnight are fucking DELICIOUS.
i fucking love french bread.
and not wearing a bra
my answer to most questions: “because people are fucking stupid”
Knowledge. I like that shit.
when twitter starts to annoy me, i skip on over to facebook and remind myself what it REALLY feels like to want to kill people.
here i sit, hoping im added to a list called “want to pee in her butt.”
RTing hot girls won’t make them like you. believe me, I’ve tried.
for all those who wish they could unfuck some people, say “aye.”
i think i know how to handle this. “vagina.”
that bruise really brings out the color of your eyes
i never feel so misunderstood as after i read a tweet i find hilarious aloud to the people with whom i keep company. they dont understand me
best quagmire quote: “want me to drag my sack across your face?”
im playing volleyball later. can i borrow your mom’s kneepads?
when life sucks i just enjoy the head
if you're a sensitive little bitch, carry your ass back to facebook with the quickness. #kickrocks
fuck stress, have sex.
my ex boyfriend is going to jail again. is it my birthday???
“just find the one you feel the most comfortable on. try them all out.” Olympic commentator on what i assume is dicks
prepare yourself for a plethora of retweets, condescending behavior, and colorful language.