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condoms prevent minivans
If I had a nickel for every time I thought of you, I would start thinking about you more.
I found Dove in a soapless place
"if she's never used dial-up internet, she's too young for you"
I would choose honest over perfect any day.
I wanna straddle your mind.
How do you know if someone's vegan? They fucking tell you.
Just heard someone refer to their "baby" as 36 months old. What kind of 372 months old adult doesn't know their multiples of twelve?
I love you this much <3 (less than 3)
I hate it when I daydream in someone's general direction, and they think I'm staring at them. Just kidding, I was staring.
Immature adults are the best kind of adults.
Grammar is sexy.
People on Twitter are obviously just the outcasts on Facebook.
Soo today, I may or may not have called the cops on this guy with a samurai sword, and it may or may not have been an umbrella...
When we're starring each other's tweets simultaneously, I feel like we're in the "No youuu hang up first" stages.. and then you hang up..
I wish I'd get honked at by firetrucks. That's like being called hot by someone who actually knows what hot is.
I don't have time to hate on the haters cause I spend my time loving the lovers
I just heard a tool/repair truck that sounded like an ice cream truck. How am I supposed to trust again?
I just got honked at by a garbage truck. I'm thinking that might have been more of an insult than a compliment.
This is where I share the thoughts that my Facebook friends would judge me for, and a diary takes too much effort. IG @stasdara