@mynameisjonus Indeed. There was a time in my life when I celebrated this day with cake. No, that is not a joke.

Your mom may be icy.

The only Rush song for which I know all the lyrics is YYZ.  http://tmblr.co/ZMn7aykUi-cR 

@jaydensmommie slash

"I'd be fine with 8 million horses in my trunk, too." - I’d bet everything I own on the chance that I’m the...  http://tmblr.co/ZMn7ayk3h_ij 

@mynameisjonus That hurts my brain.

@nicky36 @jaydensmommie People who talk.

DAMMIT MORROW!

@lafix I'm fingering mine... while driving.

@secretsquirrel I've been awfully farty today, but otherwise I'm well. Thanks for asking!

Will someone please explain to me the difference between a Jolly Rancher and a shard of glass? I think they both taste like bloody tongue.

Goodbye, Jason Pominville. Your name adorns the only piece of sportswear that I own. You're a class act and you'll be missed in Buffalo.

God. Baseball is stupid.

The most meaningless discussions about sports always begin with the phrase: "If the playoffs started today..."

If the Sabres miss the playoffs, I'll officially throw my support behind the Islanders. Send the Collessium out w/another cup. (@inthefade)

Here comes the intermission, where Mike Milbury will say this score is 100% a result of poor PIT play rather than strong BUF play. #sabres

@lafix I'm putting my money on cats.

This is the best April Fools prank I've ever seen:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ …

Good Friday. Just as God intended.  http://instagram.com/p/Xd3rpSMYOb/ 

I saw a Tesla Model S in the wild today, in Fairport, NY, parked next to a snow bank. Surely not its natural habitat, but sexy nonetheless.