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IF DONALD TRUMP DOIN IT - KANYE
Yesterday Best Buy emailed me at 4am. All I could think was, "You need to get your shit together, Best Buy. Man, these are great savings."
NICOLAS CAGE: "May I keep these blueprints?"
DOCTOR: "Yes but again, those are just x-rays."
My goal this year is to pick up women who are impressed by my stunning collection of book blurbs.
MTV barely even plays awards shows anymore, I don't know why they're bothering inviting all these musicians.
I grew up under no circumstances.
I see you, photo of a joke thing that's actually a photo of your enormous house.
Life hack: Pay off your student loans by faking your own death and assuming a new identity
Does anyone know the wifi password?
There are no two people more meant for each other than a couple who agrees, "Yeah, lets get married soon after Christmas."
co-pay sounds like a thing I want to consciously uncouple with
Are audience members at The Force Awakens going to be yelling "SPOILER ALERT!!" at the screen during the movie?
Please read this article, "It Was Easier to Give in Than Keep Running" http://ibelieveyouitsnotyourfault.tumblr.com/post/95389261470/it-was-easier-to-give-in-than-keep-running … #YesAllWomen
Always a bridesmaid, never the single member of a LLC
Hahaha Taylor Swift just brought out Beck and St Vincent and the crowd is silent
I'll call back later. If you don't know me, read my book. If you do know me, buy my book but don't read it. http://amzn.to/16cwFmO%20
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