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Forgive me, I've had a bit too much to think.
Thx for the YouTube link w/ "Watch when you're bored!" ok instead of instantly masturbating I'll do that
within twenty days of their invention every male on the planet will die of an accidental self-inflicted fatal wound due to their lightsaber
"There's too many fish in that aquarium," my dad, straight-faced.
Guy Fieri ate these fantastic looking shark tacos then licked his fat little fingers like a toddler. On television.
The best part of visiting relatives on a Friday night is the feeling of superiority when you see what shows they're into.
Why can't I just be some of what's wrong with America?
Only two things will outlast the apocalypse: cockroaches and GREY'S ANATOMY.
(refers to him as "Josh Lennon" just to make your dad angry)
I keep my bread and butter in my wheelhouse.
It's always a shock when you get blocked by someone thinner than you. It's like, come on girl, you've already won.
"Goddamnit" -a platypus getting born
Very much here for Casey Affleck as Meriwether Lewis
Why is it that we PARK in the DRIVEway, but I can’t beat my kids?
I'll call back later. If you don't know me, read my book. If you do know me, buy my book but don't read it: http://amzn.to/16cwFmO%20