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When I die, I want people to forget if I've died and have to look it up and then be re-sad.
So i can’t figure out if word is using real english. Its marking all sorts of words as spelled wrong. like “Photographs” or “payment”
Life Hack: Save money spent and time waiting in line for brunch by eating breakfast.
the nbc nightly news with rob dyrdek
I love it when someone says, "People are idiots." Um, are you not a person?
Asking my zip code to verify that it's my credit card is awesome, anyone that stole my wallet would never be able to know that.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, you need a plan for if your beloved is sucked into the past. It could happen to anyone!
female egg donors make on average 27% less per egg than males
There are 3 kinds of television shows: It's Hard To Date In Cities, Real People Singing and/or Getting Engaged, & Murdered White Girls.
"I've basically recently been cured of hypochondria." - something a friend just said to me with a straight face.
Rand Paul wants to fight gay marriage with tent revivals. Buncha dudes in tents gettin all worked up. Prolly gotta stay overnight. Yeah.
I just made chicken salad with avocado instead of mayonnaise. Or did I just make guacamole with chicken in it?
“I know it’s great for you, but I don’t have time to sit around and meditate” I say from the couch, playing Two Dots on my iPad
I Tried the Lady Mary Diet http://www.manrepeller.com/2015/02/downton-abbey-lady-mary-diet.html … via @manrepeller
I'll call back later. If you don't know me, read my book. If you do know me, buy my book but don't read it: http://amzn.to/16cwFmO%20
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