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Topher Grace is a vegan cookbook writer. Kate Bosworth is his meat eating editor. Can he ignore her eating habits? Or can he Meat Halfway?
Why is "Sexual Fear" trending? It sounds like the name of either Bieber's new single or a Dateline episode.
2012 was the equivalent of accidentally hitting Garage Band in your dock when meant to hit Safari and waiting for it to load so you can quit
Am I hungry? Or do I just hate myself?
The real winner is Jay-Z. Obviously.
Charlie Sheen sounds like he's just continuously quoting a Will Ferrell movie nobody's seen yet.
All these posted photos of dads from the 70s and 80s seriously just look like a roster of the hipster dudes I've dated in the past month.
James Franco wakes you up in the dead of night, “Babe. Idea for a show. It’s about me.”
“And?” You ask
“And what?”He says. “Do you like it?”
You don’t know him. He doesn’t go to this twitter.
I grew up watching Matt Lauer go bald.
Hey you guys, you know it's "couldN'T care less" right?
Autocorrect knows Sarah Vowell. Very impressed People of Apple. All of you. In your nerd glasses.
It's fine. I'm eating a lot of pasta about it.
Drake is the Taylor Swift of rap.
Show me on the doll where you want Ryan Gosling to touch you.
There's a .gif for that.
Brody's daughter, Dana, is like one giant eyebrow raise.
People with thin lips frighten me.
I'll call back later. If you don't know me, read my book. If you do know me, buy my book but don't read it. http://amzn.to/16cwFmO%20
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