For every 1 person that loves you, 10 people hate you & 10 billion don't give a fuck about you.

Let me wipe those tears away with my boobies.

A woman's brain is wired differently than a man's. If you lack the inability to keep up then walk away, don't degrade us for it.

I'm always kind of sad when fads start to die down because that's when I start to get them.

I don't understand why people question my sanity. The voices in my head make perfect fucking sense.

Twitter: 20% entertainment, 80% therapy

For some people this is a game. For others is it an outlet. For some this might be the only human interaction they'll get. Be fucking nice.

I don't want to talk about your kid, I want to talk about sex or drugs or murder.

I tweet my depressing, lonely shit because I know I'm not alone. We will be alright. We will get through this. It will get better.

You can call a female a douche bag too, just so you know.

If I see one more tweet about a man bitching about a say in abortion I'm going to request that he be charged for murder for jacking off.

I need more of you fuckers. I like reading your shit.

I wonder if trees laugh when people kick them.

Fuck you and fuck you and fuck you and oh yes, dear sweet old lady....fuck you too!!!

Dear cancer: If you start killing the people who deserve to die I will quit campaigning against you.

My daughter likes the Eurhythmics. Your daughter likes Taylor Swift. Who's the real winner here?

White Trash Mimosa; 1 part lemonade, 5 parts vodka. Serve with a bag of cheetos & ranch dip.

I'm just gonna do what I want on here, it is my corner of the virtual universe afterall.

We rotate around insignificance because we crave meaning.

Great, I woke the fuck up. Now what?