Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I already want to take a nap tomorrow
Is it poontang or punetang? Need to know fast, I’m writing a sympathy card
Thinking of canceling my subscription to panic attacks
I'd boycott watching Trump's "Apprentice" but I already don't watch it because it sucks and he's an obnoxious piece of shit.
time to get out of bed and figure out what to do until it's time to go to bed
God dammit, this episode of Full House is a repeat!
Apparently the most quoted person on twitter is “no one ever”
If you’re running down the street in shorts I assume you’re jogging. If you’re wearing jeans I assume you just shot someone
Every day I don't shit my pants is just one more day closer to the day I do shit my pants
I get so annoyed with people who have their shit together
alternate name for Netflix Instant: "Search for any movie off the top of your head and be totally disappointed that we don't have it."
I wake up every afternoon and yell with a smile, "I DON'T HAVE KIDS!"
Hey girl, you can stop calling me “buddy.” I realize I’m never gonna have sex w/ you
Now that we've got Sandusky taken care of can we do something about these fucking Madea movies?
Nipples are basically titty straws
Fuck yeah! we just spent 2 billion dollars to put a Roomba on Mars! Suck it starving orphans! #Mars #Science
Hey y'all, Jupiter is hella big!!!!